Thursday, November 22, 2012

I vote Democrat because....

1. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
2. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
3. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would...
4. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
5. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
6. I vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
7. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
8. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
10. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I vote Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
12. I vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear end it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view
Hat tip to Val Brose; Santa Maria, Ca

 








Why this guy is thankful at this time of year

Every year the Tunnel Dweller family gets a list like this from their eldest son. Jeff, who reflects over the things he has to be thankful for. Here is his list for 2012:
"I am thankful that police finally caught the so-called “Handsome Guy Bandit”. I got tired of being pulled over due to mistaken identity." Having seen this first item, here is more:

  • I am thankful that I am so far surviving having a 16-year-old with a learner’s permit. However, if you don’t receive this, you’ll know why.
  • I am thankful for my master bathroom remodel which will look great when I complete it in 2018.
  • I am thankful for the numerous species of vegetation that grow freely around my house. Unfortunately it is all growing in the midst of my lawn.
  • I am thankful for life’s little mysteries that cause you to think: like how do my towels still exist after leaving that much lint in the dryer for the past few years?
  • I am thankful that if I ever find myself starving in the office I can turn my keyboard upside down and shake out at least two days’ worth of rations. 
    Honey Boo Boo
    
  • I am thankful that, unlike every other time, the power didn’t go out only two days after we set all the clocks back an hour.

  • I am thankful Honey Boo Boo is approaching her 15th minute. Come quickly 15.
  • I am thankful for a well-stocked freezer. Even if that last box the kids forced into it by repeatedly punching it keeps the door from sealing tightly, causing the ice maker to frost up which leads to ice falling out onto the floor the next time the door is opened but it somehow never gets cleaned up which leads to me nearly shoving my knee up through the bottom of my chin as my other foot decides it no longer needs to be supporting my desire to be upright.
  • I am thankful that we have four more years of a democrat in the White House because, with his Republican blog going strong, it will keep my dad off the streets.
  • I am thankful that the Texas Rangers won the World Series…wait, what? I have to omit this one again?! Never mind.
  • I am thankful for delicious vegetables. French fries and onion rings come to mind.
  • I am thankful for my new jetted bath tub. It gives me one more reason to close the bathroom door and tell the kids I can’t be bothered.
  • I am thankful that I no longer work at that grocery store that required me to wear a brown, polyester, button-up vest. Brown vest? Get real.
  • I am thankful for life’s little mysteries that cause you to think: like why would a guy come into the men’s room to blow his nose and decide that a stiff paper towel would be better than a strip of fluffy, gentle toilet paper? If it’s gentle enough for…well, never mind. I’ve said too much already.
  • I am thankful for foresight: like the foresight Colorado had way back all those years ago when they decided to call themselves the Mile High State, somehow knowing that in the far distant future they would be legalizing marijuana.
  • I am thankful that I live in a house filled with laughter…except when the TV is tuned to a Disney Channel sit”com”. The Grapes of Wrath was funnier.
  • I am thankful for life’s little mysteries that cause you to think: like how come when there’s a 50% chance of getting something wrong you will get it wrong 90% of the time?
  • I am thankful that 75% of Dallas residents don’t wear cowboy hats as Hollywood seems to think we do. If I see a guy in Dallas wearing a cowboy hat I just assume he is a tourist who thinks he is required to buy a cowboy hat, some actor here filming a scene or some guy who wandered over here from Fort Worth.
  • I am thankful summer temperatures are finally behind us so I only have to change my socks every five days instead of every three.
  • I am thankful for free translation websites. Now if I could just find one that translates that goofy Brad Pitt Chanel commercial.
  • I am thankful for fine wines and cheeses. More specifically, Gatorade and a bag of Cheetos.
  • I am thankful for real American heroes, like Batman (played by a British actor), Spiderman (played by a British actor) and the upcoming Superman (played by a British actor).
  • I am thankful that, after scraping and tiling a floor that past few weekends, I have no currently scheduled appointments to have my knees photographed.
  • I am thankful for the extra money I earned as Thor’s stunt double. Oops, did I say Thor? I meant Paul Blart.
  • I am thankful for life’s little mysteries that cause you to think: like what does the inside of my nose smell like?
  • I am thankful for irony: like “Lincoln” doing well in a theater.
    Crazy uncle
    
  • I am thankful that I have never camped in a tent in front of a store. I would feel safer camping in grizzly infested woods that somewhere in the city ahead of a pack of anxious shoppers who want a new large screen TV even more than I do.
  • I am thankful that I can prove in a court of law that I was doing these lame thank you lists long before Jimmy Fallon was doing his “Thank You Notes” which are now making him millions. So far I’ve made nothing- hint hint.
  • I am thankful for getting together with family on Thanksgiving…well, except for that one crazy uncle. Although, when I think about, I just might be that crazy uncle.
  • Wednesday, November 21, 2012

    Alan Caruba; "Memories of Thanksgiving's Past"

    Warning Signs  "This Thanksgiving Day I will dine alone. I will think about what I have to give thanks for—my health, the fact that I have seen 75 Thanksgiving Days come and go, a life with few regrets—but my day will be a sad one, not for myself, but for my nation.

    "I have always been an optimistic person, but that optimism has been drained by four years of Obama’s regime and the prospect of four more. It is compounded by a Congress that has steadily marched toward turning America into a European socialist economy now on the brink of financial collapse and, worse, by a nation that has abandoned many of the values and shared beliefs that made it great; a beacon of freedom for those who chose to come here, a superpower following World War II, a compassionate and largely tolerant nation.
    "I mark its long decline from the 1960s when the sons and daughters of a generation that had worked hard and followed the rules thought it was cool not to believe “anyone over thirty”, and, in 1967, adopted Timothy Leary’s drug-induced advice to “Turn on, tune in, drop out.” He was speaking at a “Human Be-in” gathering of 30,000 “hippies” in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park."....

    Here, let the president help you

    Hamas and Obama

    PowerLine; That didn’t take long — Obama reverses himself on Israel  "We gave Obama credit for his initial reaction to the conflict between Israel and Hamas, namely that Israel “has the right to defend itself” against attack and that the Israelis will make their own decisions about their “military tactics and operations.” We recognized, however, that Obama would likely back away from this line if the conflict dragged on for an extended period of time.

    "As it turned out, Obama reversed himself almost immediately. The Washington Post says as much in this report called “With Hillary Clinton’s dash to Middle East, Obama signals a shift in his approach.” "

    Krauthammer: Hamas "Very Adept At The Pornography Of Grief"  Transcript of the video at the link: "The Israelis always end up the ones looking on the wrong side of this because the world media are on the Palestinian side. And the Gaza Palestinians, Hamas, [are] very adept at the pornography of grief. They are quite useful. They kill civilians on the other side, as terror groups do, but they also invite the killing of their own people as a way to win the propaganda war. That's why they put the weaponry, their rockets and their ammunition under houses, under schools, under hospitals and under mosques. They know the Israelis have to attack the weapons. That inevitably despite the incredible scrupulousness and skill with which Israel targets its attacks, there's always going to be a rocket that will go awry and then they will be able to show all that on television."

    Coulter: ROMNEY WAS NOT THE PROBLEM

    Ann Coulter  "Small minds always leap to the answers given the last time around, which is probably why Maxine Waters keeps getting re-elected. But the last time is not necessarily the same as this time. A terrorist attack is not the same as the Cold War, a war in Afghanistan is not the same as a war in Iraq, and Mitt Romney is not the same as John McCain or Bob Dole."
    ....
    "Romney was the most libertarian candidate Republicans have run since Calvin Coolidge. And he got more votes from the dwindling white majority than Reagan did.

    "How many more votes would Romney have gotten by being a rude, condescending jerk? Sure, it worked for Obama, but he was the incumbent."
    Political Cartoons by Bob Gorrell

    The world knows us Americans now

    Luke ''The Drifter'' says:


    "We Americans got so tired of being thought of as dumbasses by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this November and removed all doubt."

    Hat tip to Robert Hope, Sacramento.

    Obama press coverage

    And this next cartoon is an example of the lap-dog media as it covers Obama:

    More Americans Will Use Food Stamps For Thanksgiving This Year Than Ever Before


    U.S. News and World Report  "The Food Stamp Challenge, which challenges higher-income families to live as if they are on food stamps, estimates that a person on food stamps has a budget of about $1.25 per meal. In other words, a family on food stamps must buy an entire meal per person for less than the cost of an average cup of coffee."
    ...."This Thanksgiving, 42.2 million Americans will be on food stamps, according to the Economic Policy Institute. This is roughly the size of the populations of California and Connecticut combined.
    "Not surprisingly, feeding millions of Americans isn't cheap. The cost of the SNAP program last year reached $72 billion, the highest to date, according to the Congressional Budget Office."

    Tuesday, November 20, 2012

    Obama will heel this nation

    A time for courage, and action

    Caroline Glick  ...." And [Romney] was probably the strongest Republican candidate among the primary field of contenders. That is, he was the best man available to run against Barack Obama.
    "And he did a pretty good job.
    "Obama, on the other hand, was a horrible candidate. He was mean and vindictive. He was contemptuous and superficial. He ran on irrelevancies like abortion and a fictitious Republican war against women. He didn't give his supporters any reason to feel good about themselves.
    "Instead, he used class warfare to stir them to hatred of their countrymen.
    "Yet Obama won. And Romney lost."....
    ...."No one said any of this will be easy. But difficult is not the same as impossible. Within a year, the consequences of Obama's failed domestic and foreign policies will make him weaker rather than stronger than he was in his first term. He will be hard pressed to pressure Israel when the US loses its leadership role in the Muslim Brotherhood- dominated Middle East. And Israel's independence of action will consequently grow.
    "Our side suffered a massive loss on [Election Day]."
    About Caroline Glick:
    I am the senior fellow for Middle Eastern Affairs at the Center for Security Policy in Washington, DC and travel several times a year to Washington where I routinely brief senior administration officials and members of Congress on issues of joint Israeli-American concern.

    In its Israeli Independence Day supplement in 2003, Ma’ariv named me the most prominent woman in Israel. In December 2005, I was awarded the Ben Hecht award for Middle East reporting from the Zionist Organization of America. In January 2006, I was awarded the Abramowitz Prize for Media Criticism by Israel Media Watch.

    The U.N. Tilt to Terrorists

    NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE "Nowhere in the charter of the United Nations is there any mandate for the U.N. to stack the deck in favor of terrorists. Yet that is exactly the effect of the current U.N. furor over conflict between Israel and the terrorists who control Gaza.

    "When terrorists in Hamas-run Gaza busied themselves in recent years launching well over 2,000 rocket and mortar attacks on Israel, including hundreds of attacks in recent months, the U.N. shrugged it off as business as usual. That’s not to say that the U.N. ignored the attacks entirely. As the bombardments went on, and on, a few U.N. officials did occasionally call for them to stop. But these statements were invariably coupled with calls for Israel to practice “restraint,” or, as Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon put it last week, “maximum restraint.” Under the circumstances, this amounts to a demand that Israel refrain from defending itself."
    Political Cartoons by Nate Beeler

    Inhumanity In Gaza "If you took the world’s liberal media seriously, you might think that Hamas is a group of human rights activists whose worst sin is protesting against Israel’s “occupation.” Occupation of what? Not Gaza, obviously. But the truth is that Hamas is a brutal, inhuman terrorist organization–worse, a brutal, inhuman terrorist organization that is supported by many, perhaps most, inhabitants of Gaza."
    "So this is what Israel is up against. Are these Hamas terrorists even human beings? Watch the video, and judge for yourself. If they are humans, they are depraved and degraded to an extent that makes them unrecognizable as such."