Rep. Jamaal Bowman does the 'insurrection' thing . . ."Republicans should absolutely demand that Bowman pay the full price the January 6 defendants did, or else everyone gets out of the can now. There can't be two standards of justice based on one's party loyalty. What Democrats don't like is that they set these rules and now are faced with the prospect of having to live by their own rules. Make them pay, or let the shaman's pals out now."
Babylon Bee PHOENIX, AZ — "After years of being jailed with violent criminals, Buffalo Guy was kicking himself today for not simply pulling a fire alarm on January 6th to force Congress to evacuate.
" 'Seriously? I could have just pulled the fire alarm instead of going to all the trouble to dress like a buffalo and charge into the Capitol?" said an aghast Buffalo Guy. "Gosh, do I feel silly."
"Buffalo Guy, known in some circles as Jacob Chansley, watched yesterday as Representative Jamaal Bowman demonstrated how to properly and legally commit a crime to delay Congressional proceedings. "So you pull the fire alarm, and then come up with some ridiculous excuse, like you thought the fire alarm was a doorknob," explained Mr. Bowman. "You could even say that you have lived your whole life under the impression that pulling a fire alarm is how you select Nacho Cheese Doritos out of the vending machine. It doesn't matter. They can have you on video committing the crime, and as long as you explain you're too dumb to understand what a fire alarm is, you're good to go! Have at it destroying Congress!"
"At publishing time, millions of Americans had headed for D.C. to help continuously pull the Capitol fire alarm in hopes of stopping Congress from ever doing anything ever." . . .
Jamaal Bowman: I Pulled the Fire Alarm Because...Republicans Are Nazis? " Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-NY) has tried and so far largely failed to explain or justify his decision to pull a fire alarm in a Capitol Hill office building as Congress rushed to avert a federal government shutdown. Now, his desperation to put an end to criticism and push back on punishment for his conduct from House Republicans has taken a predictable but pathetic turn." . . .
"Ah yes, the old "Republicans are enforcing the law and holding people accountable for their actions because they're Nazis" turn of phrase." . . .Cherish the word...