Some People Actually Believe ‘Beto’ Makes Robert O’Rourke Hispanic…

Weasel Zippers

"In his native Spanish"?

CNN Publishes Real News Story For April Fools' Day

Babylon Bee  "ATLANTA, GA—Fooling thousands of readers in a prank that the cable news organization said was "just for fun," CNN published a real news story for April Fools' Day this year.

"The story simply contained a list of facts, with no embellishment, editorializing, or invented details. The story also didn't cite shaky "anonymous sources" and only quoted firsthand witnesses to the event. It was completely factual without any errors whatsoever.

"Baffled CNN fans immediately knew something was up.

" 'I was reading this story, and I was like, 'Wait, what is this?'" said one man in New York who relies on CNN for his fake news every morning. "They really got me good. Then I looked up at the calendar and I realized I'd been duped. A classic gag!"

" 'Those little rascals!" he added, shaking his head and laughing goodnaturedly. "As long as they return to their regularly scheduled fake news tomorrow, we're good. We're good.' "
Via the Babylon Bee

Joe Biden: "affectionate, physical style with women" ...or "creepy groper"?

Creepy Uncle Joe is toast  "Joe Biden's penchant for unwanted touching of women and girls has been a common object of humor on the conservative side of the spectrum for over a decade, ever since he became Barack Obama's running mate.  But even after the dawn of the #MeToo movement, it mattered not at all to the mainstream media and most Democrats — so much so that he continues to be the top choice among Democrats polled on their preference for the 2020 nomination.

"But once outed as a creepy groper by Lucy Flores, a Democrat office-holder and former Nevada state legislator who had worked for Bernie Sanders in 2016 and has been photographed recently with Robert Francis O'Rourke, it's a media scandal.  You can call it Democrat privilege or second-class citizenship for conservatives, but the reality is that we don't matter in the imaginary world the media proclaim to be reality.

"Imagine if Biden had been a Republican!  He would have been driven from public life long ago.

"Now that there are powerful people on the Left who want Biden to just retire and go away, to make room for a candidate with more intersectionality points — race points, sex points, sexuality points, any purported disadvantage that now brings privilege — the blackout no longer applies.

"My guess — and it is a pure guess, as I have no connections with the Dems' inner circles — is that Joe Biden is going to see the wisdom of withdrawing from the race, especially since his son Hunter's connections in Ukraine are at risk.  He's old and has been making scads of money giving lectures.  He has a choice: retire and reap gratitude, honors, and many more lucrative speaking gigs, or else press forward with his candidacy and become an icon of perversion, with his son facing Trump treatment by the media, an old white male whose apologies for his privilege only further enrage the aggrieved.

"This 11-minute video by Paul Joseph Watson lays out the reasons why Creepy Uncle Joe is toast."

Washington Post springs to the defense of serial groper Joe Biden  . . . "Serial groping becomes his "affectionate, physical style."  Unwanted touching becomes his "warm and upbeat persona."  It's amazing what you can do with the English language to obscure the truth when you put your mind to it.

"That most of us see nothing wrong with Biden's playful physicality is not the point.  If Brett Kavanaugh had gotten similar treatment for his "affectionate, physical style," he would have breezed through his confirmation hearing. 

. . . "It reminds me of women's rights groups lionizing the serial sexual assaulter Ted Kennedy at the time of his death.  He may have been a pig, but he's a pig who agreed with us."