New York Times Patiently Awaiting Zoom Call From Hamas To See What They Should Print Today; Bumper stickers?

  Babylon Bee

NEW YORK, NY — The staff of the New York Times spent the morning patiently waiting by the computer, waiting for the call from Hamas to see what the terrorists would like to have printed on the front page today.

" 'No fingers on the keyboard until Hamas calls!" declared Chief Editor Joe Khan. "We don't post a single word unless we've sourced it directly from the terrorists on the ground - understood?"

 "At long last, the Zoom app began ringing with a phone call from a Hamas spokesman. "Hello! Allahu Ackbar! Okay, what message do you guys want out there?" asked reporter Gene Okerlund. "Yes, yes, I know you want it to say ‘Death to Israel,' but is there anything more specific you want? Any horrific atrocities you guys perpetrated by accident but want to pin on the Jews? Great! Oh yeah, we can inflate those death tolls. We'll have the whole Middle East rioting in no time!"

"Sources with the newspaper confirmed this has been a longstanding arrangement between the publication and horribly evil terrorist organizations. "We have the highest standards of integrity here at the New York Times," said Mr. Khan. "If you're a terrorist, you can rest assured that we will print exactly what you tell us, word for word. No matter how absurd the lie is, no matter if the lie could literally lead to wider war and death - you can count on us to print what you say."

"At publishing time, The New York Times editorial staff was preparing to go with a new front-page story titled "Israel Uses Giant Zionist Space Laser To Kill Eleventy-Billion Palestinian Orphans And Puppies."

Liberals Replace Star Of David On 'Coexist' Sticker With Hamas Paraglider | Babylon Bee

. . ."According to makers of the sticker, the paraglider symbol of murderous Hamas terrorists encapsulates the freedom and tolerance that all true liberals yearn for. "This change helps convey how serious we are about peaceful coexistence," said sticker designer Deandra Martinez. "We are so committed to peaceful coexistence we will commit mass murder of a particular ethnic group if necessary. We're just one genocide away from utopia, folks."

"As of printing time, Rep. Rashida Tlaib had been seen covering flyers showing the faces of hostages with the new 'COEXIST' stickers."

Is there no guilt over disgusting pro-Palestinians?

 Melanie Phillips:  Hamas, he said, "are not militants. They are not freedom fighters. They are terrorists. There are not two sides to these events. There is no question of balance. I stand with Israel."   

Pro-Palestinian Protesters Storm U.S. Capitol, Occupy Cannon Rotunda › American Greatness  

. . ."In a speech to the mob outside the Capitol, Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) issued a warning to the Biden regime and other Democrats who support Israel.

“A lot of us are not going to forget this!” She ranted.

Democrat Rep. Rashida Tlaib, an unhinged antisemite, goes after Biden and her fellow Democrats: "A lot of people are not gonna forget this! It's not a threat — it isn't!" pic.twitter.com/WqNfGSzURg

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) October 18, 2023

The protest comes one day after media outlets in the U.S. and worldwide falsely reported that Israeli forces bombed a Palestinian hospital in Gaza, resulting in over 500 deaths. Conclusive evidence now points to a misfired rocket near the hospital in Gaza as the culprit.

'Dozens of protests erupted outside of western embassies around the world Tuesday night in the wake of the tragedy.' . . .

Bodies lie in ravaged Israeli kibbutz (yahoo.com)  . . ."Four days on from the onslaught, the sights and sounds of a live battle still present.

"And the stench of bodies heavy in the air.

"Major General Itai Veruv describes what they found once they had control.

" '’You see the babies, the mother, the fathers, in their bedrooms, in their protection roofs and how the terrorist kills them, it's not a war, it's not a battle field. It's a massacre, it's a terror activity. So you can look on yourself, it is something that I never saw in my life.’’

"Bodies of villagers and gunmen lie scattered throughout the neighborhood, with houses and vehicles destroyed.

"Troops were going house to house to retrieve civilian bodies in body bags.

"Unable to do so before as they were still fighting gunmen and working through booby-traps.

"Soldier Ayer Avriel told Reuters the average age of the community was 18 to 25.

 "‘’This neighborhood was brutally attacked and (people) slaughtered. RPG (rocket-propelled grenade) were shot. They burned everything and made sure that no one got out of here alive, and you can see the brutality. See for yourself."

"The signs of the rampage were also evident inside other kibbutz’s, like Be’rei." . . .

Bookworm Beat 10-13-23: The Armageddon illustrated edition

  Bookworm Room

‘The dumbest show in America’

‘The dumbest show in America’: The demise of The View - YouTube  "The View was once an iconic daytime television show celebrated for its diverse range of entertaining hosts who discussed the issues of the day in a lively way.

"But, like many other brands in the mainstream media, The View has become a victim of left-wing ideology, filling their shows with aggressive agenda pushing, bizarre claims and excessive virtue signaling. This editorial pivot has made the show and its hosts the target of ridicule by the conservative media and the American people and has Sky News All Stars Rita Panahi, James Morrow and Megyn Kelly asking, is this the end of The View?"

 'The View' co-host calls out Tlaib, Omar over posts accusing Israel of attacking Gaza hospital (msn.com)

Kayleigh McEnany: Omar and Tlaib won't condemn this

The Hamas, Arab, and BBC Big Lie About Israel and the Bombed Gaza Hospital -

  The American Spectator | USA News and Politics    "A guy stops his friend and relates excitedly: “Did you hear about Harvey? His wife just drove his brand-new Tesla into a swamp!”

"The friend responds: “First, it wasn’t Harvey. It was Frank. Second, it wasn’t his wife. It was his mother-in-law. Third, it wasn’t brand new; it was second-hand. Fourth, it wasn’t a Tesla. It was a Prius. Fifth, it wasn’t into a swamp. It was over a cliff. And sixth, it never happened.”

"That is what Israel has had to deal with for 75 years: Arab Big Lies gobbled up and regurgitated all-too-willingly by a left-wing anti-Israel mass media that has no soul and lies without hesitation if it sells newspapers, gets online clicks, likes, and followers. The bigger the lie, the more the clicks and followers. People attribute the Big Lie concept to the German Nazis of Hitler, especially his chief liar, Joseph Goebbels. But the Western lying media gobbles more than Goebbels. They are despicable falsifiers whose fake news incites violence and promotes catastrophe. Remember Trump colluding with Putin?

"In the Middle Eastern context, the terrorist Arabs lie, and BBC and CNN and all of them jump in to repeat the lies. Perhaps the most infamous of all was when the New York Times blared an Associated Press photo, caption, and story about an Israeli soldier beating the living daylights out of some poor innocent Arab kid, whom the photo showed was all bloodied up. The New York Times story said it was another example of how the Israelis send their soldiers onto the Temple Mount and desecrate holy Islamic soil and beat up on Arabs who are there only to pray sweetly.

"Some sharp-eyed Zionists (i.e., people who believe that Jews have a right to live in Israel just as Black Lives Matter has a right to live in Chicago and Ben & Jerry’s has a right to live on ancestral Native American lands in Vermont) noticed an oddity. If the guy with the Hebrew uniform, menacingly waving his billy club at the bleeding teen, was an Israeli soldier gone wild on the Temple Mount, how was it that the photo showed a gas station in the background? Gas stations on the Temple Mount? Really?

"So it turned out that — surprise! — the New York Times was lying. It wasn’t the Temple Mount but a Jerusalem street in an Arab neighborhood. The guy with the nightstick was not an army soldier but a civilian police officer. The kid bleeding was not an Arab beaten by the Israeli brandishing the club but Tuvia Grossman, a Jewish kid from America who had just been assaulted and battered badly by a gang of murderous Arabs. And the cop was waving his club at the Arab attackers to get them away from the Jewish kid before they killed him." . . .

But why this hatred for the Jewish people? Answer: Satan hates what God loves

 Why I Stand by the Nation of Israel and the Jewish People (harvest.org)  . . ."Now we have Hamas committing murders and unthinkable atrocities toward Jewish women, children, and even babies in Israel. It is pure evil. But God always intervenes—He raised up Moses to deliver the Jews from Pharaoh and Egypt. He raised up Queen Esther to use her influence to save her fellow Jews from the plot to destroy them.


"After the Holocaust, God raised up the Jews themselves to return to their homeland and become a nation again on May 14, 1948.

"But why this hatred for the Jewish people?
Answer: Satan hates what God loves. God loves and chose the Jews as His very own people.
Why? God Himself gives the answer: “The Lord did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you, and he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. That is why the Lord rescued you with such a strong hand from your slavery and from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh, king of Egypt” (Deuteronomy 7:7–8 NLT). 

"Antisemitism is from the pit of Hell. I am not Jewish, but as a Gentile and believer in Jesus Christ, I have been “grafted in” to the promises given to the Jewish people by the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." . . .

From Rodgers and Hammerstein's "South Pacific" "You've Got To Be Carefully Taught" - SOUTH PACIFIC (1958)

Officials Say Hate Crimes Against Jews Are Growing In The Aftermath Of Gaza Violence : NPR    "In Skokie, Ill., it was a shattered window at a synagogue. In Bal Harbour, Fla., it was four men yelling, "Die Jew," at a man in a skullcap, then threatening to rape his wife and daughter. And in Midtown Manhattan, it was a group of people attacking a Jewish man in the middle of the street in broad daylight." . . . 

So why are Jews hated so much? (mid-day.com)   

Do this simple thought experiment. Five hungry people who have not eaten for a month are at your door, begging for food. They are a Jew, an Indian Muslim, a Rohingya, a Chinese (Buddhist), a black African Christian and a white-skinned Harvard-educated atheist.  You have a simple vegetarian meal, but barely enough for one person. Which one would you feed?

 Satan hates what God loves: God loves and chose the Jews as His very own people - Washington Times