Sarcasm Alert! White House Asks Migrants To Hold Off On Raping And Murdering Any More Americans Until After Election

 Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the presidential race heating up for the summer campaign season, the White House asked migrants to hold off on raping and murdering any more Americans until after the election.

"As more and more incidents of violent criminal acts perpetrated by migrants have drawn attention to the Biden administration's immigration policies, Karine Jean-Pierre politely asked migrants to wait until after the November election before carrying out any more horrific rapes and murders.

" 'We'd really appreciate it," said the gay and black White House Press Secretary who is black and gay. "While we understand that many of you are eager to continue raping and murdering American citizens, we do ask that you wait until after November 5 to do any more. We thank you for your patience."

"Though public outrage continued to mount as more violent acts made news headlines across the country, Jean-Pierre emphasized the need for discretion while the election played out. "Everyone likes to make summer plans," she said. "But we hope our incoming migrants can understand the importance of postponing their raping and murdering plans until the election is over. Otherwise, they may end up actually facing consequences for their actions, and none of us want that to happen."

"When asked whether migrants who commit violent crimes would face any repercussions if Biden is re-elected, Jean-Pierre pulled the fire alarm and evacuated the building.

"At publishing time, White House officials informed incoming migrants that for every vote for Joe Biden they cast in November, they would be allowed to commit one free heinous act against an innocent American citizen."

Arrests made after 12-year-old Houston girl found dead in creek; one suspect allegedly tried to escape off balcony - CBS News

Two men who were seen on surveillance footage with a 12-year-old girl before her body was found in a Houston creek earlier this week were arrested Thursday in her death, police said. One of the suspects tried to jump off a balcony and escape before officers caught him, a neighbor told CBS affiliate KHOU-TV." . . .

"Residents told the station that Ramos and Martinez often sat on their balcony and yelled at women who passed by." . . .

Fox News Steps Up to Make Sure You Won't Have to Turn on CNN to Watch the Upcoming Debate

 Adelle Nazarian (westernjournal.com)  

Many cable news viewers have increasingly grown tired of CNN’s biased coverage against Trump, which could’ve had the unintended secondary effect of pushing viewers right to Fox. 

"Fox News Media announced on Thursday that its flagship news network will provide comprehensive coverage of the upcoming CNN presidential debate between President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump on June 27, 2024, thereby ensuring that viewers can tune into Fox to watch the debate.

“FOX News Media will present extensive live coverage of the CNN presidential debate between candidates President Joe Biden (D) and former President Donald Trump (R) on Thursday, June 27th in Atlanta, Georgia. Special programming will be available across all of FOX News Media’s key platforms, including FOX News Channel (FNC), FOX Business Network (FBN), FOX News Digital, FOX News Audio and FOX Nation,” a release marking the announcement read.

"Fox News Channel has consistently dominated cable news ratings and has surpassed CNN in viewership for many years. In May, Fox  occupied nearly all of the top 100 telecasts and posted double-digit viewer increases while CNN experienced its lowest-rated month in primetime since 1991.

"Fox News’s announcement that it will simulcast the historic face-off will allow viewers to tune into Fox without having to turn on CNN." . . .

RealityBites by Broc Smith

Ben Rhodes is back, smugger and smarmier than ever

 Monica Showalter - American Thinker

. . ."He said Trump was 'unpredictable' with America's enemies, which he seemed to think was a bad thing, citing China. His talking point there echoed Vladimir Putin's statement that he prefered Biden as the U.S. president because he was more predictable.

"Was anyone looking for a comeback from Ben Rhodes, President Obama's famously smug, smarmy, officious former deputy National Security Advisor, who's best known for being called an "a--hole" by veteran Pentagon correspondent Thomas Ricks?

"Don't think so. But he's back anyway, and according to The Hill, he's out insulting President Trump:

"Former White House national security adviser Ben Rhodes went after former President Trump for his foreign policies, calling him a “chaos agent” who cannot solve problems with other nations.

“Donald Trump — let’s be blunt — he’s not respected. He’s not taken seriously around the world. He’s a chaos agent,” Rhodes said in an interview on MSNBC Saturday. “He’s incapable of working with other countries to solve problems.”

"Speaking of not respected.

"Rhodes, of course, who is a creative writing major, is the famous author of the Iran Deal with its pallets of cash, which the United Nations's nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency, said was something nobody pays attention to any more.

"According to a story that ran in Breitbart News four days ago:" . . .

Biden Will Not Be the Nominee - And Hunter's conviction is his Golden Parachute.

 The American Spectator | USA News and Politics   It is only June, but Christmas might have come early for Joe Biden and the Democrat Party.

Hunter Biden is destined, or doomed, to wallow in a multitude of consequences for his multitude of sins, legal transgressions, and moral failures, for the rest of his life. He will be convicted, sentenced, pardoned, acquitted, re-tried — all or none of the above, and long after Biden Fatigue Syndrome has expired. Celebrity justice for a grifter.

 "The latest phase in the center ring of the longest circus in American politics, the 2024 campaign, has ended. Hunter Biden is guilty on all counts — where have we heard that before? — and up next is sentencing, another federal trial, and …

"Dispassionate citizens, if there are any left across the landscape, may be satisfied that justice has been done; it was a case where the circumstances and charges were blatant, to an almost caricatured degree. Sympathetic parents and friends of addicts and self-destructive personalities they love, can withhold feelings of joy over the five-alarm fire that is Hunter Biden. 

"There is no doubt, except for his cognitive cluelessness, that Joe Biden, father, grieves over this outcome.

"There is no doubt either that Joe Biden, politician, rejoices at the ironic life-preserver that has been tossed to him as he flails in the vortex of a doomed presidency and a cursed campaign.

"Biden and his wife and sister and handlers now have an ideal face-saving, if not life-saving, “out.” Beltway Biden has fashioned a career from his small-state sinecure of Delaware by excusing, evading, and enduring uncountable scandals, gaffes, and what would have been toxic disqualifications for other pols in other states. For half a century the Bidens’ sense of entitlement has been their hedge of protection.

"Finally, America understands Joe’s mantra about “threats to democracy” because his manipulation of the system has served him well. He has been the personification of that Threat. Yet “democracy” now is his undoing. There is too much toothpaste to put back in the tubes; too many defections from his obsequious base; too many people now laughing at the exposure of Emperor Joe’s new clothes. The sands of Rehobeth Beach finally have run through his hourglass.

"The big debate within his party and the nation at large is not the economy nor the border nor foreign-policy disasters, but … how to kick Joe off the ticket. With grace. Without offending the Old Man. Without insulting Kamala — because surely, her elevation would be the only worse situation than Four More Years of Joe. Who, what, when, where … and how?

"Then, along comes the blindfolded Goddess of Justice, on a charging steed. Things done in her name have been ineffectual in Donald Trump’s case, and cases, but she can save the day for Biden and his “legacy” and the Democrat Party in 2024.

"The political survival of Joe Biden has also been a perennial routine of whining and evading and changed subjects. From college suspension over plagiarism, to lying about his first wife’s death, to faking his academic resume, to inventing facts about his family — one of the times causing him to drop his 1988 presidential candidacy — to shamelessly distorting circumstances of his views on race, his voting record, his son’s death. Everything but actual tears have stained his record. He has aged like a Fine Whine." . . .

Biden: Slip Slidin' Away (freebeacon.com)

. . ."The weirdest moment comes when the reporters ask Biden to describe his second-term agenda. That's what we in the biz call a "softball question." And here—excuse the long excerpt, but it is necessary to grasp the full absurdity and danger of having this man continue to serve as president—is Joe Biden's response:" . . .  Here are Biden's very words.

. . ."Biden is not just slipping personally. He's slipping politically. The polls have barely moved since May 31, when a New York jury convicted Trump of falsifying business records. Biden continues to run behind Trump, as he has since the fall of 2023. The reason the election is close is not that the public likes Biden. It's that the public is reluctant to send Trump back to the White House." . . .

Biden must be given whatever meds he took to jack him up for his vindictive SOTU speech

Cardinal Castigates ‘Cafeteria Catholic’ Joe Biden -

 While the apostasy of Biden and the advance of anti-Christian ideologies is pernicious, there is hope in the U.S.; The American Spectator

"In his speech, Sarah lamented that authentic Catholic faith, already a minority belief in America, has “been traded for cultural assimilation.” Despite this, Sarah did see reasons for hope in the Church in America.

"Despite this wanton degeneracy, Biden still claims to be a Catholic — in fact, his lackeys in the media world often tout him as a “devout Catholic.” But a former Vatican official has a different term to describe America’s most radically pro-abortion President. In a recent speech at the Napa Institute in Washington, D.C., Cardinal Robert Sarah labeled Biden a “cafeteria Catholic.”

"The former head of the Vatican’s liturgy office, Sarah lamented that Christianity’s influence has waned in the West. He noted, “The West, while not the birthplace of Christianity, is the home of much of what was once called ‘Christendom’ and much of what has become modern society, the roots of which are firmly European.” The West African prelate observed that many Catholics in the West have adopted the secular mindset of the “general population” and have allowed their faith to become dethroned, subjecting it to modern ideas and values. 

" 'You have a self-identified Catholic who is an example of what Cardinal Gregory recently described as ‘cafeteria Catholic,’” Sarah continued, referring to Washington archbishop Wilton Gregory’s comments earlier this year. Biden’s promotion of abortion, transgenderism, gay “marriage,” and a host of other evils or vices places him squarely in contradiction to the perennial moral teachings of the Catholic Church.

"The Catechism of the Catholic Church declares that “human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person — among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.” Therefore, the Church warns of the “moral evil of every procured abortion.” The Catechism continues, “This teaching has not changed and remains unchangeable. Direct abortion, that is to say, abortion willed either as an end or a means, is gravely contrary to the moral law.”

"So grave, in fact, is the sin of abortion that it carries with it the penalty of latae sententiae excommunication — that is, the evil is so grave and so clear that excommunication is automatic, no trial or tribunal is required. In Catholic teaching, excommunication is the most stringent and serious of penalties that can be imposed, effectively cutting off the soul from communion with the Church, which is the mystical Body of Christ. More than just a penalty, latae sententiae excommunication serves as both a warning against and a remedy for extreme evils, too. Such a consequence denotes for Catholics the severe depravity of certain acts, warning those who value their faith to keep as far from such evils as possible. But it also serves to call those who obstinately engage in such evils to repent, seek forgiveness, and return to the Body of Christ." . . .

Why do you care about the Palestinians?

Alan Dershowitz, "Why does the hard left glorify the Palestinians?" 

The Palestinian people have suffered more from the ill-advised decisions of their leaders than from the actions of Israel.

Why I Had Enough With The Damn Lies About Israel! A Very Politically INCORRECT Post!

"In a world in which massive violations of human rights have, tragically, become the norm, why has the hard left focused on one of the least compelling of those causes — namely, the Palestinians? Where is the concern for the Kurds, the Chechens, the Uyghurs, the Tibetans? There are no campus demonstrations on their behalf, no expressions of concern by “the Squad” in Congress, no United Nations resolutions, no recurring op-eds in The New York Times, and no claims that the nations that oppress these groups have no right to exist. 

"On the merits and demerits of their claims, the Palestinians have the weakest case. They have been offered statehood and independence on numerous occasions: in 1938, 1948, 1967, 2000-2001 and 2008. Israel ended its occupation of the Gaza Strip in 2005. Yet, even now, Palestinian leaders refuse to sit down and negotiate a reasonable two-state solution. As the late Israeli diplomat Abba Eban once aptly put it, the Palestinian leadership never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

"Nor are history and morality on their side. The Palestinian leadership allied itself with Nazism and Hitler in the 1940s, with Egyptian tyranny and antisemitism in the 1950s, and with international terrorism from the 1960s forward.

"In 1947, the United Nations divided the land that the Romans called Palestine and the Jews called Yisrael into two areas. It provided a sliver of land along the Mediterranean and a non-arable desert called the Negev to the Jews, who were a majority in that area, and a much larger arable area to the Arabs. The Jews declared statehood on their land. Instead of declaring statehood on their land, the Palestinians and surrounding Arab nations declared war. The Arabs lost and the Jews captured more land. As a result of the war, there occurred an exchange of populations: Hundreds of thousands of Arabs left or were forced out of Israel, and hundreds of thousands of Jews left or were forced out of Arab countries and Arab Palestine.

"Again, in 1967, the surrounding Arab nations threatened to destroy Israel, which preemptively attacked and occupied the West Bank and Gaza, which it immediately offered to return — with some territorial adjustments necessary for security — in exchange for peace and recognition. The U.N. Security Council issued Resolution 242, which called for a return of captured territories in exchange for peace. Israel accepted. The Arab nations and the Palestinians, however, issued their three infamous “no’s” — no peace, no recognition, no negotiation." . . .