"Gender Studies is a growing field with many fulfilling career opportunities! We find more and more genders every day, and we need professionals to sort through them all with their gender sorting machines so they can be placed on the correct gender shelf. That's where you come in! If you think gender studies is for you, here are nine exciting jobs you can get once you graduate: (Quoted verbatim)
1) Burger flipper at McDonald's, but a socially conscious one: You can spread the gospel of gender identity to your coworkers!
2) Sign spinner in front of Little Ceasars, but a socially conscious one: Your manager might let you listen to your favorite gender studies podcast while you do it.
3) Foreman at the gender factory: You know, where they manufacture all the genders. Good pay and benefits, especially if you join the gender union.
4) Portland Citizen: Portland is a paradise for gender studies experts. If you play your cards right, they might let you become a professional stabber for Antifa!
5) Professional toxic coworker: As an expert in gender studies, you can become a cancer in a large corporation, slowly wreaking havoc on all relationships and infrastructure from within. Cool!
6) Alyssa Milano: Unfortunately, this position is currently filled.
7) Screenwriter for the next big Marvel or Disney movie: No actual writing skills required, as long as you are really good at gender stuff.
8) Army General and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: General Milley did it, so can you!
9) Unitarian pastor: Unitarian pastors are pretty much gender studies professors with fancy collars, so this should be easy for you.