Life in a Democrat Kingdom; Parody from the Babylon Bee and Genesius Times

 Tim Walz Clarifies That He's Never Been To Iraq, But He Has Been To Downtown Minneapolis Which Is Basically The Same Thing

"DETROIT, MI — Coming under heavy criticism over allegedly false claims about his military service, Minnesota governor and current vice presidential candidate Tim Walz clarified that he's never been to Iraq, but he has been to downtown Minneapolis, which is basically the same thing.

"After Walz faced accusations of "stolen valor" after repeatedly claiming to have seen combat in Iraq, he admitted that while he had never actually been there, he had spent a lot of time in and around the hellish, war-torn landscape of downtown Minneapolis, meaning he had likely experienced the same type of horror.

" 'Believe me, it's just as nasty out there," Walz said. "During my time as governor, the level of decay and danger that permeated Minneapolis isn't anything to shake a stick at. So, while I must admit I never actually set foot in Iraq, per se, I would have to argue that my extensive time spent in downtown Minneapolis has given me experience that is just as — if not more — sobering and life-changing than anyone who served in Iraq.' " . . .

Vivek Ramaswamy: ‘I shoulda ran as a black dude’ like Kamala  

US—Hindsight being 20/20, a reflective Vivek Ramaswamy looks back at his presidential run with a newfound clarity. “Yeah, looking back, my biggest mistake was not identifying as a black dude,” he admitted in a recent interview, a hint of regret tinging his voice.

“ 'If I had known that using your Indian and Asian heritage to win in California and then switching it up to African for president was the winning strategy, I’d have been all in,” he continued. “I mean, Kamala did it, right?”

"Ramaswamy’s comments come on the heels of his less-than-stellar performance in the primaries, where he found himself outshouted by louder voices and outmaneuvered by savvier campaign tactics. But now, with the wisdom of experience, he’s ready to rethink his approach.

“ 'Just imagine,” he mused, “Vivek Ramaswamy, the first Afro-Indian Republican candidate. It’s groundbreaking. It’s diverse. It’s everything the modern voter wants. If you don’t vote for Vivek in 2028, then you ain’t Black!” His campaign slogan, already trending on social media, seems to be catching on like wildfire." . . .