Robert Schapiro "I have baked bread at home my whole life.
"Because I love baking and eating, my bread is very good. So it was no surprise an entrepreneur opening a year round trendy indoor market in New York asked me to take a stall and sell my bread to the public once a week.
"Why not? I thought. It seemed like the adult version of a kid's lemonade stand.
But that was before the realities of making anything edible for sale came crashing down on my head.
Modern government regulations
Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas . . .
. . . there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she
uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together
and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me
plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The
wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my
wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At
last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked
the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They
wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
I shall eat all five loaves."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the
little red hen, shouting obscenities. When the government agent came, he said to
the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so
wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our
modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of
their labor with those who are lazy and idle."
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who
smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand." But her
neighbors became quite disappointed in her, for she never again baked any more bread.
"Because I love baking and eating, my bread is very good. So it was no surprise an entrepreneur opening a year round trendy indoor market in New York asked me to take a stall and sell my bread to the public once a week.
"Why not? I thought. It seemed like the adult version of a kid's lemonade stand.
But that was before the realities of making anything edible for sale came crashing down on my head.
Modern government regulations
Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas . . .
. . . there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she
uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together
and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me
plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The
wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my
wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At
last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked
the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They
wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
I shall eat all five loaves."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the
little red hen, shouting obscenities. When the government agent came, he said to
the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so
wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our
modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of
their labor with those who are lazy and idle."
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who
smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand." But her
neighbors became quite disappointed in her, for she never again baked any more bread.
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