Pumpkins have more to fear from the Obama administration than do Muslim terrorists

Oooh scary! Fed bureaucrats warn pumpkins cause global warming
"The Onion is getting serious competition from the bureaucrats at the Department of Energy, who obviously have too much time on their hands.  Jennifer Pompi of the Washington Times reports:

How scary are your jack-o’-lanterns? Scarier than you think, according to the Energy Department, which claims the holiday squash is responsible for unleashing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

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. . . "It is true that every living thing on planet earth eventually decomposes and releases methane. The ultimate solution would be to sterilize the planet, making sure that no life exists. Maybe coat the planet in Roundup? If you are against methane, you are against life itself." . . .