An Unfond Farewell to Un-statesman Orrin Hatch

Michelle Malkin

"His record is one of a big-government, business-as-usual dealmaker."

"The longest-serving Republican senator in U.S. history announced this week that he will finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally retire. 

"That’s seven “finallys” — one for each of the consecutive six-year terms Senator Orrin Hatch (R., Utah) served. He begin his occupancy in 1976, when all phones were dumb, the 5.25-inch floppy disk was cutting-edge, the very first Apple computer went on sale for $666.66, the Concorde was flying high, O.J. Simpson was a hero, Blake Shelton was a newborn, the first MRI was still a blueprint, and I was a gap-toothed first-grader wearing corduroy bell-bottoms crushing on Davy Jones.

"This encrusted longevity will be marketed by Hatch, 83, and his supporters as proof of his “statesmanship.” Indeed, The Atlantic magazine described him this week as “an elder-statesman figure in the GOP.” Newsweek likewise reported on the farewell announcement of the “elder statesman.” And Hatch’s own press minions have disseminated press releases quoting other entrenched politicians such as Senator Chuck Schumer (D, N.Y.) hailing their boss’s “reputation as a statesman.”

"But that word doesn’t mean what Beltway barnacles think it means." . . .

More on what this politician has wrought in his career: Read more.

. . . "So: Call Hatch a clock-puncher. Time-bider. Log-roller. Deal-cutter. Back-slapper. Call him most anything else now that he’s finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally called it a day.

"Just please don’t call him “statesman.' ”