Fake News Replaced by Fake 'Experts'; How To Think Like a Journalist

Ann Coulter

"The new method of journalism is to wake up, scratch yourself, announce this is what I think and then find someone who agrees with you to cite as an "expert." This honorific is generally given either to slobbering simpletons, like John Brennan, or anonymous nobodies on the left. If you see "expert," you should assume the person is not an expert, and probably not even a person.

"Here's how to do a story on "water isn't wet" in under 40 minutes:

"Get a college professor on the phone.

" 'Hello. I'm from The New York Times and I'm looking to quote an expert saying water's not wet."

"That is correct, water is not wet.

"Why?

Because it isn't.

" 'Is this something you've studied?"

"Oh my gosh -- I'm a world-renowned expert.

"To your editor: "I've got an expert saying water isn't wet."

"Do you have more than one?"

"Throw a rock out the window, hit someone. "Hey! Sorry about the rock. I've got a question for you. Is water wet? Yes? Ask the guy next to you. Got it, perfect."

"Headline: "Water Not Wet, Experts Say."

"Nowhere is the explosion of phony experts more annoying than in the bloated ranks of foreign policy hacks. It's as if the world decided to solve the problem of "elite overproduction" by creating a full employment program for them as government bureaucrats and quotation providers.

"Thus, a recent Times article accused Donald Trump of "Flying Blind” by stripping the government of high-quality intelligence experts, horrifyingly, just as he's trying to end the Russia-Ukraine war. Instead of relying on experts, as other (obviously better) presidents have, Trump, the Times reports, "has taken a different approach ...: He’s fired them."

"Meaning he will not be deferring to people whose sole objective in life is being quoted in the Times. Without losing accuracy, the cited authorities could all be identified as professors of Trump-Hating." . . . . . More...