Late, but too good to miss. TD
Miami Herald "The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them." . . .
. . . " That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up.
Miami Herald "The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them." . . .
"You can actually buy them. We know this because we actually bought them, using the virtually unlimited financial resources of the newspaper industry. We have thoroughly inspected all of these items for up to 15 seconds per item, which is why we are able to offer our Unlimited Holiday Gift Guide Quality Assurance Guarantee, which states, and we quote: If you purchase one of these items, and for any reason you are not 100 percent satisfied with it, simply write the details of your purchase down on a sheet of legal-sized paper and mail it to us, and you have our personal guarantee that within eight working days we will laugh until mucus flows copiously from our nostrils.
"With that legal reassurance, let’s take a look at the items that “made the cut” for this year’s Holiday Gift Guide, starting with:" . . .
"This is a highly realistic decal that goes on a toilet lid and makes it appear as though two large snakes are emerging from the commode bowl."
"Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Odor-Fighting Toilet Spray, $9.99-$14.99 (price may vary)" . . . "Poo-Pourri comes in dozens of scents, including (we are not making these scents up) Hush Flush, Doody Free, Toot Fairy, Deja Poo, Crap Shooter, Secret Santa, Heavy Doody and of course Vanilla Mint."
One more example is...is...
"You know those people who stand too close to you? You hate them, right? And yet, because of our outmoded “justice” system, you cannot legally hit them with a hammer.
"But now there’s something you CAN do to make them keep their distance: You can wear a Belly Bump Ball." . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment