Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
- UFC chief Dana White confirmed the plan that the White House will host an Ultimate Fighting Championship on the South Lawn next July 4th. It's on the nation's 250th birthday. Fight fans expect to witness the most savage beat down at the White House since Hillary Clinton discovered the blue dress.
- President Trump flew to Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska Friday for a summit with Russian President Putin. We mean well but our past record states otherwise. The problem with U.S. diplomacy is that America sees itself as Dennis Quaid while the rest of the world sees us as Randy Quaid.
- President Trump met virtually with European leaders including Zelensky Wednesday ahead of today's summit. Zelensky was in Berlin at the time seeking German support. The Germans agreed to send tanks to Ukraine as long as they are allowed to roll through Poland to get there for old times' sake.
- L.A. Mayor Karen Bass railed at Trump's immigration policy Thursday as federal agents seized illegal migrants on the sidewalk outside a rally in a downtown building. This town is on edge. Last night in West Hollywood I ordered an ICEE at the movie theater and the concession attendant surrendered to me.
- Congressman Eric Swalwell hosted a town hall in San Francisco Thursday where he ripped Republicans as fascists. A few years ago the House Intelligence Committee Member got honey-trapped into a torrid affair with a gorgeous Chinese spy. Whenever I see Eric I thank him for his service to our country.
- Governor Gavin Newsom vowed to gerrymander five more Democratic districts in California to make up for the five lost to the GOP gerrymandering in Texas. It's catching on. Vladimir Putin now says he didn't actually invade Ukraine, he simply re-drew the district of Russia until it looks like Illinois.
- President Trump named himself host of the Kennedy Centers Honors Awards show which CBS will telecast live in December. He should tap into all the talent that's available for him at CBS. If Trump wants to emcee a solemn and somber evening, Colbert's joke writers are under network contract.
- Business Week reports that AI startup IPO's are creating a record number of billionaires this year. And Like an old retiring ballplayer, AOL announced after 36 years it will end dial-up Internet by late September. Hopefully, that photo of Teri Hatcher I've been downloading will be finished by then.
- Washington D.C. was patrolled by 400 National Guard soldiers Tuesday. Leftist critics missed accusing Trump of racism for having troops wear jungle camouflage to blend in. The Guard will need to have Spanish cuss words spray-painted on their uniforms to blend into the background in L.A.
- Nancy Pelosi surprised everyone by endorsing a bill in Congress to ban members from playing the stock market, because her $480 million portfolio she amassed while in office is why they wrote the bill. She's now like the 95-year-old guy who won the $500 million Powerball lottery. He's set for life. More...
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