Two more from the Babylon Bee (Parodies)

Biden Fitted With Muzzle So He Can't Bite Any More Babies  . . ."The White House has been running damage control in the wake of the incident. Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre claimed the incident was "taken out of context" and that the president has "been very clear about how much he loves babies." This statement prompted Fox News reporter Peter Doocy to say, "How much he loves eating them, you mean." Jean-Pierre responded by calling the statement out of line and unprofessional.

""This is just a misunderstanding and, frankly, I think it's being blown out of proportion. It's MAGA gaslighting and it's irresponsible," the press secretary said. "But to assuage the concerns of the public, and to prove he is a president for all Americans, the president has agreed to wear a muzzle." . . . 

Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons

. . ." 'Mr. Walz is always trying to give us tampons," local 13-year-old boy Evan Gessel commented. "‘I have no idea what to do with them, I have like 300 in my closet at home but he keeps giving them to me…not just on Halloween"

"Other kids mentioned wanting to avoid the Walz's house on their trick-or-treating route but feeling awkwardly compelled to stop by and take a tampon.

" 'Mr. Walz followed me and my brother down the street with a giant box of pads and a fistful of tampons," 12-year-old Macey Ferguson said. "We told him we were ok but he insisted we take them and then told us he was an ally or something like that-I was so confused."

"At publishing time, Walz could be seen throwing tampons at the kids egging his house."

From The Babylon Bee