IDF confirms potential Hezbollah successor Hashem Safieddine killed in Beirut strike

Jerusalem Post  "Safieddine was the former head of Hezbollah, Hassan Nasrallah's cousin, who was killed by an Israeli strike.  

"The IDF eliminated Hashem Safieddine, who was set to become the head of Hezbollah, in a strike in Beirut three weeks ago, the IDF confirmed on Tuesday.

"Safieddine was Hassan Nasrallah's cousin, the former head of Hezbollah, who was killed in an Israeli strike.

"According to the IDF, Safieddine had a significant influence on decision-making within the Hezbollah terror group.

"Furthermore, during times when Nasrallah was absent from Lebanon, Safieddine filled in for him and served as Hezbollah's Secretary-General. Over the years, Safi Al-Din directed terrorist activities against Israel and was involved in Hezbollah's core decision-making, the IDF added." . . . Not satire.

Comment from reader: "Pretty soon the only candidates left for the position will be members of the Squad in Congress."

Next; no confirmation is true, but we did do the math and came up with this from the Babylon Bee, so we know it must be true:

Young Hezbollah Recruit Can’t Believe He's Already Made Regional Manager

"Beirut — Young Hezbollah recruit Muhammed Amin was surprised to learn this week that he's already been promoted to the position of Regional Manager.

"Amin recently joined the ranks of the prestigious terror organization and expected to spend the next several years proving himself before rising through the ranks but was given the unexpected news that he was now in an important leadership role.

"I can't believe I'm moving up the ladder so quickly!" Amin said. "I was only recruited last week and all of a sudden they're telling me I am a manager — and not just manager, but regional manager! I can't believe my luck!" . . .