The Gentle Wit of Robert Benchley

 The Gentle Wit of Robert Benchley; American Heritage

A founder of the Algonquin Round Table and frequent writer for The New Yorker and Vanity Fair, Benchley influenced generations of humorists from James Thurber to Dave Barry

Comedians yammer on and on, but humorists are a somber bunch. Though funny in print, their party personas tend to brooding.  Their lives are often a mess.  You don’t have to be Freud to see that sorrow is the soul of wit.  But then, meet Robert Benchley.

"During the Depression, as one of America’s most beloved humorists, Benchley was asked for a brief bio. Here is his response:

BORN: Isle of Wight, September 15, 1807. Shipped as a cabin boy on the Florence J. Marble, 1815.  Arrested for bigamy and murder in Port Said, 1817. Released 1820. Wrote A Tale of Two Cities.  Married Princess Anastasia of Portugal, 1831…Wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin, 1850… Began Les Miserables, 1870, finished by Victor Hugo…Died 1871.  Buried in Westminster Abbey. 

"Benchley’s mock bio hid an upbringing so ordinary it does not bear repeating. Still, here goes. Born in very unfunny Worcester, Massachusetts, he grew up sadly lacking the pathos that demands joke after joke. Benchley was the pampered son of prosperous parents, groomed for corporate board rooms. He declined such a fate, however, preferring to mock it. The mocking began early.

While touring Europe, Benchley cabled an editor from Venice: “Streets full of water. Please advise.”

"While at Philips Exeter, where prep school students studied Milton and Shakespeare, Benchley wrote his senior thesis on “How to Embalm a Corpse.” Thus began a lifelong penchant for laughing at death. But death would not have the last laugh.

"At Harvard, Benchley’s impromptu after dinner speeches amused fellow frat boys with pseudo-serious nonsense, ala Monty Python’s John Cleese.  One night he might be a government official telling Harvard “what we are doing down there in Washington!”  Another saw him a returning explorer ad-libbing “Through the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera.”  When he graduated, with World War I underway, he was urged to grow up.  He refused.

“It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing,” he recalled, “but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.”  While working as an ad copywriter, Benchley submitted humorous essays to magazines.  In an America already glutted by expertise, his touch was deft and delightful.  One essay reviewed “The Social Life of the Newt.”  In “The Most Popular Book of the Month,” he wrote a review — of the phone book.  “It is the opinion of the reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages…”

Idiot Leftist Of The Year Nominees: The Honorable Mentions

These are but a few of the “progressive” leftists who’ve distinguished themselves as a special kind of stupid this year. I’m sure I’ve missed some, it’s impossible to keep up – supply easily out-strips demand. The scary thing is these are the top of the list. The scarier thing is Democrats haven’t even come close to the bottom they’re apparently capable of with these people and their nominees. Merry Christmas.

 Townhall   (The last in a series of nominees, the winner will be announced in a December 27th column. The first, second, third, fourth and fifth nominees can be found here and here and here and here and here.)

"First off, Merry Christmas. I know it’s not very Christmas-y to write out a list of leftist losers who’ve been so awful throughout 2022 that they could qualify as the worst. Then again, it is truly very Christmas-y to write out a list of people who’ve been, shall we say, “less than good.” Therefore, it is in that spirit I run this today, of all days. 

"There are a lot of leftist idiots in our country, with each seemingly seeking to out-crazy the other on a regular basis. How can you just pick five to represent all of them without acknowledging the many, many others who, for whatever reason, just fell short of the expanded podium? The fact is, you can’t. So these are the honorable (or dishonorable) mentions for idiot leftist of the year.

"Yoel Roth. Twitter’s former head of “Trust and Safety” has proven himself to be unworthy of trust and rather “safely” stupid. While meeting regularly with the FBI, Roth was fed a line of BS about Russian hackers and the prospect of a fake story involving Hunter Biden. Shortly thereafter, those FBI contacts had Roth gleefully preventing the very real Hunter Biden story from being disseminated. Roth was a fiddle, played to perfection by the FBI and he never once appears to have questioned his handlers. While his stupidity didn’t occur this year, it was exposed and he was the person who proudly announced it to the world. Well deserving of an honorable mention.". . .

The Most American Christmas Ever

No Antifa in this man.

Don Surber

"The old farmer was there with Washington when he crossed a frozen Delaware River in blizzard-like conditions on Christmas 1776. And so the photographer took a daguerreotype photo of Conrad Heyer in 1852, who 103 years early was the first European child born in Waldoboro, Maine. At 24, he had enlisted in the Continental Army and spent 1776 with Washington, whose rag-tag army went from victory in Boston to defeat in New York to a daring raid and stunning victory in the Battle of Trenton, New Jersey.

"The New Market Press reported on July 25, 2013, “According to the Maine Historical Society, Heyer may be the earliest born human being ever photographed. He is also the only U.S. veteran to be photographed who crossed the Delaware River alongside George Washington in December 1776.”

"There is some dispute as to whether he was the earliest born person to be photographed. Three claims of earlier birth have been made, including a slave who would have been 115 when photographed.

"But there is no dispute about Heyer’s service to our country. He was a farm boy who became one of thousands of patriots who took up arms to force the best army in the world to leave the colonies so that Founding Fathers could set up a government that protected our rights.". . .

“The victory was not particularly significant from a strategic point of view, but news of Washington’s initiative raised the spirits of the American colonists, who previously feared that the Continental Army was incapable of victory.”The morale boost continues today. People use the Internet to boast about a victory by others nearly a quarter of a millennium ago.

Is Trump now forced to run third-party?

Why do third-party candidates have to be conservatives, thereby guaranteeing a Democrat win? 

 The Hill  At a certain point, all decisions and election chances in politics come down to basic math. No matter how some consultants, pollsters or campaign managers may attempt to complicate the process to justify their fees or salaries paid by a candidate or company, it still comes down to this: Does the math finish on the “plus side” for him or her to run, and does it finish on the plus side for the candidate to win?

"My mother used to say, “If you can read, you can cook.” In the arena of political elections, if you can do basic addition and subtraction, you can honestly advise a candidate whether to run. Former President Donald Trump has some of that basic math working against him — but also, for him. 

"What he and his mercurial ego really will do becomes the political question of the 2024 presidential cycle.

"With each passing week, there are reports of more and more Republicans suffering from “Trump fatigue.” Although many still strongly approve of most of Trump’s policies from his four years in the White House, they have grown increasingly tired of his perceived juvenile antics and insults. Worse for Trump, many now blame him for the GOP losing the chance to take control of the Senate — not only in the November midterms, when he forced marginal candidates on the party with his endorsements, but also back in 2021 when he suppressed GOP voter turnout with negative comments and attacks in Georgia’s runoff election.  

"On top of that, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis comfortably leads Trump in the latest polls among Republicans. Given all this, does it spell the end for Trump as a viable GOP presidential candidate?

"Not necessarily. It all comes down to those fairly simple addition and subtraction equations. 

"In this case, the relevant question becomes: If Trump decides to run as a third-party candidate, could he somehow manage to win enough significant states to beat the GOP nominee (whether it’s DeSantis or someone else) and the Democratic nominee (whether it’s President Biden or someone else)? Even a high school student who’s truly proficient in math might be able to give Trump that answer.. . .

Celebrity chef Rachael Ray lectures on ‘moral imperative’ to support Ukraine and Twitter was NOT having it

 BPR   "The disconnect between Washington, D.C., the leftist cultural elite, and real America couldn’t be more clear when it comes to Ukraine and the blind support of politicians continuing to pour money into the war-torn country at a time when many in their own nation are in desperate need.

"While the preening of elected leaders during their orgy of worship for the diminutive, military fatigue-clad Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy before a joint session of Congress this week left many feeling nauseous, it was the virtue signaling of celebrity chef Rachael Ray that really triggered a gag reflex.

"In a USA Today column, the Food Network star and entrepreneur lectured Americans that it was their “moral imperative” to unwaveringly support Ukraine through the “bitter winter” even as this week’s frigid temperatures have combined with economic misery to inflict a devastating one-two punch on those in need right here in the homeland.". . .

Reine Replying to @RachaelRayShow   

I will take this seriously when the border is truly secure, when homeless have been housed, when drug addicts are in treatment, when there are no more people living in makeshift “tent cities” in the middle of towns. Curious why nobody feels a “moral imperative” for US citizens?

Adam Schiff Picks A Fight With Elon Musk …OUCH! That Was A Mistake

 Yid With Lid

"You’d be hard-pressed to find a more shameless and dishonest political opportunist than the bug-eyed bull-sh**ting bloviating barrister of Burbank, also known as Adam Schiff (D-CA). For Schiff, every issue is little more than an opportunity for wielding political power.

"Adam Schiff tried to play his power games with Elon Musk. Musk wasn’t having any of it, and Schiff went home bruised,

"The little tyrant is mad that his party has been exposed in a massive conspiracy to deprive the public of free and fair elections. So Schiff is planning to weaponize the powers of government against a private citizen and the corporation he now owns.

"Here’s his excuse for weaponizing the government against a corporation that has gone from carrying water for the DNC and punishing their enemies to threatening the DNC by publishing the truth about backchannel meetings.

"Let’s have at Shift’s snark that inspired mocking memes like this:

"That had to hurt

"Musk wasn’t having any of it.

"The little tyrant is mad that his party has been exposed in a massive conspiracy to deprive the public of free and fair elections. So Schiff is planning to weaponize the powers of government against a private citizen and the corporation he now owns.

"Here’s his excuse for weaponizing the government against a corporation that has gone from carrying water for the DNC and punishing their enemies to threatening the DNC by publishing the truth about backchannel meetings.

"Let’s have at Shift’s snark that inspired mocking memes like this:". . .

White House Struggles to Define ‘Border Czar’ Harris’ Role in Immigration Policy

Yid With Lid

Recent reports from Mexico have suggested that as many as 40,000 migrants are staging themselves for a caravan north to the border, adding a rather poignant urgency to the situation.

"Early in Vice President Kamala Harris’ first term in office, the California Democrat was appointed to the all-important position of Border Czar at a time when our nation was struggling mightily with the issue of illegal immigration.

"To put it bluntly, there is a humanitarian crisis on our southern border as tens of thousands of migrants continue to stream into America, placing an economic strain on cities like El Paso, Texas, and fueling the illegal and immoral human trafficking industry south of the border.

"Harris, for her part, spent 90 days after her appointment avoiding a visit to the border and drawing the ire of Americans from coast to coast.

"In the ensuing 8 months, Harris has made little to no progress on the issue whatsoever, and even the White House can’t seem to explain what, if anything, the Vice President is doing to remedy the situation.". . .

ESPN has meltdown after barely anyone shows up for Brittney Griner “welcome back” party – and it’s epic

I do not recommend Griner as a spokeswhatever for Subway. TD

Law Enforcement Today

Now ESPN expects Americans to hold parades celebrating her release? And it can also be argued that the conditions in the Russian jail were probably better than the conditions in the Washington, DC gulag where January 6 protesters are being held in violation of their constitutional rights.

"The female WNBA player who bounces basketballs for a living and who was traded for arguably one of the worst terrorists in the world to secure her freedom from a Russian jail, Brittney Griner, is apparently not as popular as the leftist media would have us believe.

"According to the Media Research Center, University Baptist Church in Waco, TX., located only miles from Baylor University where Griner attended college, sought to host a welcome back party for Griner after she returned back from Russia.

"Now one might think that an icon of the alphabet community who checks off a number of boxes on the woke checklist might draw a bit of a crowd for such a momentous event. In truth, only about 20 people actually showed up for the event. And that led the wokest of all woke sports networks, ESPN, to go off. More on that in a bit.

“I will say this: Baylor’s women’s coach has long used her own personal platform to…give support and love for Brittney,” Sharyl West Loeung, a speaker and “facilitator” at the church said. “But otherwise, from an administrative point of view, that hasn’t happened. For myself, coming from a graduate of the seminary and having worked there and [knowing] how much they confess being this Christian organization, I really wanted to see more.”

"What was she expecting to see? It isn’t like Griner was a prisoner of war being held by a foreign adversary. She was in essence a common criminal who broke Russian law.

"Now we can argue all we want about the seriousness of her crime, but honestly, in a country that has been holding people who engaged in merely trespassing on the US Capitol grounds for nearly two years, without bond, in squalid conditions, who are we to argue about conditions in Russia?

"If you’re unfamiliar with the Griner case, which honestly most Americans were until her release was secured by swapping the “Merchant of Death” for her, she was arrested for illegally possessing marijuana derivatives, in this case CBD oils in a Russian airport. Griner pleaded guilty, in fact, to that crime.". . .

What does Liz Cheney have to say about this?

AOC: The Giant Fraud America Is Getting Sick Of?

 AOC: The Giant Fraud America Is Getting Sick Of? (msn.com)

Have You Had Enough of AOC Yet?: Love her, hate her, ignore her, or tolerate her, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez has become a household name and a force in Democratic politics.

She Is a Socialist Afterall

"Another problem with AOC is her extreme politics and interaction with the controversial “Squad” of like-minded progressives. AOC is really a socialist at heart – rebranded as a Democratic Socialist. This ideology may play well in her New York district, but it would never pass muster in the heartland. She has made enemies too, not only among Conservatives, but also in her own party for endorsing left-wing primary challengers against establishment and moderate Democrats. As I have mentioned before, AOC may have peaked too early. Is she committed enough to serve in Congress for another 20 to 30 years? Does she have presidential ambitions? Will she become more moderate with age to achieve crossover appeal? Does she want to settle down and start a family? These are questions that will be answered in the coming years should AOC continue her political career. But the country may have developed “AOC fatigue” by then. Stay tuned."

Why AOC Is a Fraud (townhall.com)  "Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims to be a progressive. She also claims to be concerned about the working class. In fact she is a fraud.

"We really need to stop calling the likes of Ocasio-Cortez a progressive. There is nothing progressive about her or her New Green Deal. She hates modernity, she hates progress and all the benefits it has brought the working classes. She wants to end fossil fuel use, she wants to stop cheap flights and people's freedom to live and spend their money as they choose."

Biden slammed for Christmas 'unity' speech after year of political attacks: 'Spare us, you old grinch'

Biden slammed 'MAGA Republicans' during a polarizing speech in September

 Fox News  Conservative Twitter users attacked Biden’s unity speech after he frequently attacked "MAGA Republicans," as well as unvaccinated Americans in previous addresses to the nation.

"’Unite, you stupid sons of b*tches! And Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!’" Townhall.com reporter Mia Cathell joked.". . .

. . ."He wants you to forget his red speech ever happened," RedState writer Bonchie remarked.

"Says the guy who tried to turn Americans against each other over a vaccine and often yells about ~half the country being fascists. Spare us, you old grinch," Townhall.com managing editor Spencer Brown wrote. 

"Gov. Ron DeSantis press secretary Jeremy Redfern commented, "I guess last year’s Christmas message wasn’t much of a hit," noting that during the previous Christmas season Biden warned that unvaccinated Americans would face a "winter of severe illness and death." . . .

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2022/12/22/joe-biden-delivers-christmas-address-without-saying-the-word-jesus-calls-americans-drain-political-poison/

Romney Says He Didn’t Trust GOP-Controlled House To Craft A Budget

 Daily Caller

"Republican Sen. Mitt Romney of Utah said Thursday that he backed a $1.7 trillion omnibus spending bill because he did not trust House Republicans to handle crafting a budget in light of Republican Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California’s difficult campaign for speaker of the House.

“ 'House Republicans say that they want to craft a budget, but they haven’t yet been able to select a speaker,” Romney said, referencing the fact that several House Republicans came out in opposition to McCarthy’s bid for speaker. Romney noted it would be very difficult to sort out budgets for the current fiscal year and the following fiscal year. (RELATED: Blackburn Blasts Dems For Funding Border Security Abroad, But Not US)

“ 'Even if they could take on those two things at the same time, it would need Democrats in the Senate to pass it,” Romney said, claiming that the resulting compromise legislation would end up at a higher number than the $1.7 trillion in the bill. Romney noted that entitlement spending was twice the amount of the omnibus bill.

"Republican Rep. Andy Biggs of Arizona launched an unsuccessful challenge to McCarthy for the nomination of the House Republican caucus to serve as speaker of the House, losing by a 188-31 vote on Nov. 15. Biggs announced Dec. 6 he would still run for the post in spite of McCarthy being the Republican nominee.

“ 'McCarthy is so weak he’ll promise anything to anyone,” Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz wrote for the Daily Caller News Foundation.". . .

GOP Can’t Be Successful Until Mitch McConnell Is Gone    . . ."Another comment from McConnell also shocked Republicans. Of the $1.7 trillion left-wing spending spree McConnell is working so hard to help Democrats pass, he said, unbelievably, that he was “pretty proud of the fact that with a Democratic president, Democratic House, and Democratic Senate, we were able to achieve through this omnibus spending bill essentially all of our priorities.” As an indication of how deeply sick and broken and unserious the Senate is, no one had even begun to read the lengthy bill, which was put forward just hours before votes began.". . .

The Rejection of 'Merry Christmas'

E. Jeffrey Ludwig

. . .Although I grew up in a Jewish household, my parents never felt either threatened by Christian “exclusion” nor that it was a season of hostility towards Jews, and thus did not believe they needed to barricade either themselves or me from Christmas. The message of joy, love, and hope -- although originating in Christ -- overflowed to all of us,. . .

. . .“Merry Christmas” as a greeting or as a cheerful blessing of citizen-to-citizen or neighbor-to-neighbor is vanishing.  Invariably, when I wish someone in a store or in my neighborhood a Merry Christmas, they respond by saying “Happy Holidays” to me.   One woman suggested to me that Christmas was religion-specific and not all people celebrate it, which is why she uses what she believes is a more neutral term.  In other words, she believes she is being kind and showing a gentle respect for all people whether they be Christian or not.  She obviously did not understand that by not responding to my Merry Christmas, she was not obliging me, not showing me the “respect” that she is according to all others who give not even a passing thought to the birth of Christ. Christians are getting her much-needed greeting, but she will deny them any sense of preference.  My “Merry Christmas” to her is partisan and self-absorbed, lacking the largesse of the more neutral well wishes.

"The irony of this shift away from “religious preference” is that for most Americans Christmas has been distinctly irreligious for decades.  As long ago as the 1960s -- long before this writer became an evangelical believer -- some of my best friends complained at the materialism of our culture. They were disturbed that Christmas had become about trees, lights, gifts, Santa Claus, and meals.  At best, it was about togetherness. At worst, it indulged a commercialism that only Americans have really known.  Spirituality was trumped by materialism.  But my philosophical friends not only said we were mired in materialism but in runaway materialism.  That was decades ago.  For them, Christmas had lost its “spiritual meaning” by that decade.  When did this spiritual decline begin?  I was not interested in the religious significance of the holiday so I never asked for their historical assessment.