Liberal white women: "Free Jack the Ripper!"

 Liberal White Women Stand Weeping Outside Court Trying Jack The Ripper | Babylon Bee parody

LONDON — Dozens of liberal white women gathered outside a local courthouse, weeping and holding signs of support for serial killer Jack the Ripper.

"With their hands held up into the shape of hearts, the women decried the injustice of imprisoning a man who was so clearly the victim of a flawed system.

"Justice for Jack!" cried the women, waving signs of encouragement. "He was clearly begging for help when he murdered those 11 prostitutes. But no one heard him, and no one cared. Now, think of how much Jack is suffering! That's why we are here today, so that he knows we care. It could have been any one of us that didn't get the help we needed and so went on a killing spree across East London."

"Several of the liberal white women present expressed terror that they too could so easily end up on trial for merely slashing a dozen prostitutes to death. "I just relate so much to Jack the Ripper," said one woman, Regina Kensington. "Like, I see the mangled bodies he left and think — wow, I'm just the same as him. That's why we are here cheering him on. Oh, I do hope he's still single."

"At publishing time, Jack the Ripper had thanked the crowd of women for coming to support him and asked if any of them would like to meet up around midnight in a secluded spot in Whitechapel.