Dave Barry’s 2015 Holiday Gift Guide

Late, but too good to miss. TD

Miami Herald   "The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them." . . .

. . . " That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up.

"You can actually buy them. We know this because we actually bought them, using the virtually unlimited financial resources of the newspaper industry. We have thoroughly inspected all of these items for up to 15 seconds per item, which is why we are able to offer our Unlimited Holiday Gift Guide Quality Assurance Guarantee, which states, and we quote: If you purchase one of these items, and for any reason you are not 100 percent satisfied with it, simply write the details of your purchase down on a sheet of legal-sized paper and mail it to us, and you have our personal guarantee that within eight working days we will laugh until mucus flows copiously from our nostrils.

"With that legal reassurance, let’s take a look at the items that “made the cut” for this year’s Holiday Gift Guide, starting with:" . . .

"This is a highly realistic decal that goes on a toilet lid and makes it appear as though two large snakes are emerging from the commode bowl."

"Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Odor-Fighting Toilet Spray, $9.99-$14.99 (price may vary)"  . . . "Poo-Pourri comes in dozens of scents, including (we are not making these scents up) Hush Flush, Doody Free, Toot Fairy, Deja Poo, Crap Shooter, Secret Santa, Heavy Doody and of course Vanilla Mint."

One more example is...is...

"You know those people who stand too close to you? You hate them, right? And yet, because of our outmoded “justice” system, you cannot legally hit them with a hammer.

"But now there’s something you CAN do to make them keep their distance: You can wear a Belly Bump Ball." . . .

Peer-Reviewed Survey Finds Majority Of Scientists Skeptical Of Global Warming Crisis

"People who look behind the self-serving statements by global warming alarmists about an alleged “consensus” have always known that no such alarmist consensus exists among scientists. Now that we have access to hard surveys of scientists themselves, it is becoming clear that not only do many scientists dispute the asserted global warming crisis, but these skeptical scientists may indeed form a scientific consensus."

Forbes

"It is becoming clear that not only do many scientists dispute the asserted global warming crisis, but these skeptical scientists may indeed form a scientific consensus.

"Don’t look now, but maybe a scientific consensus exists concerning global warming after all. Only 36 percent of geoscientists and engineers believe that humans are creating a global warming crisis, according to a survey reported in the peer-reviewed Organization Studies. By contrast, a strong majority of the 1,077 respondents believe that nature is the primary cause of recent global warming and/or that future global warming will not be a very serious problem.

"The survey results show geoscientists (also known as earth scientists) and engineers hold similar views as meteorologists. Two recent surveys of meteorologists (summarized here and here) revealed similar skepticism of alarmist global warming claims." . . .

GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT THE PROBLEM. GLOBAL GOVERNANCE IS.

Obama and his clones have a big year planned for us in 2016

Beginning January 1, police in California may confiscate firearms from gun owners thought to be a danger to themselves or others without giving the owner any notice.

Lame duck on world tour: Obama to fly abroad at least six times to 'secure' his legacy

Marking the end of a hollow president’s feckless record on terrorism
. . . "He was horribly wrong, as we know, but the significant theme here is the chutzpah of a junior senator with no experience or background in military or foreign affairs coolly informing America’s most successful war general that he has erred in his professional assessment. This telling vignette gives us a man who mentally tailors events to suit his theories — a dangerous trait in a leader." . . .

Obama hails his own leadership skills as he enters his last year in office  . . . "Not that we want to spoil the president’s holiday. So much of the great promise that brought him to office has been left unfulfilled. Let’s leave him to his illusions. But let’s  not pretend we believe any of it."

A tale of two Bills: Cosby and Clinton

"Making certain these women were not believed was Hillary Clinton’s job, and she did a capable job of it."

Thomas Lifson  "The story of Bill Cosby’s arraignment yesterday on charges of rape got headline treatment across the nation and signals very bad news for the candidacy of Hillary Clinton.  Legal experts say the case against Cosby is weak, unless the testimony of some of the 52 women who have complained of sexual predation by Cosby can be admitted as testimony, establishing a pattern of behavior, or modus operandi, as the lawyers like to say.

"The legal proceedings against Cosby are certain to be a major topic of discussion in the months ahead.  Much of that discussion will center on the proposition that if so many women are making similar complaints, that adds believability.  And the question then becomes: “Why weren’t they believed or even listened to before?”

"In Cosby’s case, the answer has to do with the lovable image he projected and the powerful financial interests in keeping him in the public’s fond regard.

"The very same analysis applies directly to Bill Clinton.  The list of women believed to have been his sexual prey may not run to 52, but it includes:" . . .  Read more

conservativecritic

Can Trump’s Clinton-Sex-Scandal Revival Hurt Hillary?  "This week Donald Trump pulled off yet another remarkable political feat: While several of his rivals have tried and failed to turn Bill Clinton's decades-old sex scandals into a 2016 campaign issue, Trump is actually making it happen."
. . . 
"But this week, Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus said that while it may be hard for Clinton supporters to admit, "in the larger scheme of things, Bill Clinton’s conduct toward women is far worse than any of the offensive things that Trump has said." She continued:" . . .

CNN's Camerota Shocked 14 Women Could Make Claims Against Bill Clinton

Clinton gets free pass while media attacks Cosby for same thing!

THE NEW YORK TIMES' FEATURED SYRIAN REFUGEE OF THE WEEK

Ann Coulter  "On Christmas Day -- three weeks after the son of a Pakistani immigrant and his Pakistani immigrant bride murdered 14 people in San Bernardino, California -- The New York Times told the heartwarming story of "Kamal," a Syrian refugee who resettled into Houston, Texas, earlier this year and immediately started shopping at Walmart. 

"The Times considers it tacky when actual Americans go to Walmart, but Muslim immigrants seem to live there, buying nothing but American flags and Christmas trees. 

"Thus, we're told Kamal has an outdoor Christmas tree from Walmart, and we find him carrying two trays of cupcakes from Kroger's for his children's elementary school holiday party. 

"Kamal -- like the Times -- was "angered" by Texans' reluctance to accept more Syrian refugees. He says of Americans: "Why did you bring me here and why then you let the people hate us?" 

"We brought you here, Kamal, because the Democrats need voters and the rich need cheap servants. " . . .

Code Pink Tries to Arrest 91-Year-Old Kissinger for 'War Crimes,' Get Smacked Down by 94-Year-Old George Shultz

PJ Media

"A Senate hearing opened this morning with Code Pink protesters trying to arrest former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger for "war crimes."

"The protesters, bearing signs reading "Kissinger War Criminal" and "Cambodia," rushed up behind the 91-year-old diplomat at the witness table of the Senate Armed Services Committee, which was holding a hearing on global challenges and the U.S. national security strategy.

"Also testifying were 94-year-old former Secretary of State George P. Shultz and 77-year-old former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

Chairman John McCain (R-Ariz.) said he would call recess until Capitol Police removed Code Pink from the room.

" 'I've been a member of this committee for many years, and I have never seen anything as disgraceful and outrageous and despicable as the last demonstration that just took place," McCain said, which led to shout-backs from the protesters.

" 'You know, you're going to have to shut up, or I'm going to have you arrested. If we can't get the Capital Hill Police in here immediately... Get out of here, you low-life scum," McCain added.

" 'So Henry, I hope you will -- Dr. Kissinger, I hope on behalf of all of the members of this committee on both sides of the aisle -- in fact, from all of my colleagues, I'd like to apologize for allowing such disgraceful behavior towards a man who served his country with the greatest distinction. I apologize profusely.' "

Our Weasel Of The Week Nominees!!

Nice Deb

"It’s time once again for the Watcher’s Council’s ‘Weasel Of The Week’ nominations, where we pick our choices to compete for the award of the famed Golden Weasel to a public figure who particularly deserves to be slimed and mocked for his or her dastardly deeds during the week. Every Tuesday morning, tune in for the Weasel of the Week nominations!   Here are this weeks’ nominees…."

Dim-O-Crat NY Assemblyman Chuck Lavine!

"Assemblyman Charles Lavine – who sponsored the “Anything But Trump Act,” has some ideas who they should rename the park after. Lavine, of Long Island, suggests the state rename the park for Peter Salem, a Muslim Revolutionary War soldier from Massachusetts who fought in battles in New York state. Other suggestions include folk singer and activist Pete Seeger. Seeger, of course, was a communist. I mean, literally… he’s connected to the Communist Party USA. There is also absolutely no proof that Peter Salem was a Muslim. . . . "

Transgender Muslims Find a Home for Prayer in Indonesia

"The mind-numbingly long piece fails at its mission. The Grey Lady’s absurd obsession over an infinitesimally small minority group only evokes scorn, ridicule and derision."

The Washington Post’s Disgusting Cartoonist, Ann Telnaes   "JoshuaPundit : For a new bottom in political  Weaselness well below the norm, even in an election season. Simply an indecent person."

Hillary the 'Organ Grinder' Grinds Up the Big Apple

Take, for instance, Chelsea, like Hillary, pretending to see a long lost friend in every gathering.  Not only that, but before impersonating Mom's fake smile, and pointing excitedly to a person in the crowd who doesn't exist, Chelsea always claps along to the song that Hillary struts around in time to. 

Jeannie DeAngelis  

 . . . "Trying desperately not to call attention to herself, Hillary, while holding onto the baby stroller like a walker, promenaded about, wearing a brightly colored Kashmir Company embroidered jacket she bought in Afghanistan in 2003.  The colors on the jacket were so intricate that it actually stirred up images of the carpet fibers found on Clinton friend and associate Vince Foster's corpse when his body was found dumped in Fort Marcy Park.

"Referred to in the press as a "festive walk," in addition to perusing a bookstore and eating ice cream, the ex-president and his presidential-hopeful wife, the former carpetbagger senator from the State of New York, smiled and waved to admirers.

"Unlike 8 million sitting ducks who inhabit a city notorious for strict gun laws, the woman who called gun rights advocates "terrorists" was safely surrounded on all sides by heavily armed security on hand to protect the organ grinder and her quartet of monkeys from being shot at again by Bosnian snipers." . . .

Clinton faces backlash over Kwanzaa tweets

Washington Examiner  "A number of African-American social media users pushed back against Hillary Clinton's attempt to reach black voters with aKwanzaa Twitter avatar.

" 'Wishing everyone the best this Kwanzaa. To all celebrating — Bill and I send you our warmest wishes. -H," Clinton tweeted on Saturday night, after changing her Twitter logo to a red, black and green image of her campaign's "H" logo, which was made to look like a kinara, the candle holder used in Kwanzaa celebrations." . . .

#NewHillaryLogo

No one trusts the word of the U.S. anymore. . .

. . . "not after disappearing red lines and promises about what Obama could get from a nuclear deal with Iran -- almost all of which failed to make it into the final agreement.
"That trust will take a long time to rebuild -- if it ever can be."   

Obama may soon be gone - from office - but the American voters who elected him are still with us. TD

Lame duck on world tour: Obama to fly abroad at least six times to 'secure' his legacy  " ''Travel early on in a presidency has the value of investing in the relationship, when the president could be around for anther three or seven years,' Council on Foreign Relations president Richard Haass told Politico. 'Traveling at the end of the presidency is very different. They're no longer looking toward the future.' " . . .

Obama's deterrence factor  . . . "President Obama lost the power of deterrence through a variety of unfortunate pronouncements and policies. False deadlines to Iran, false red lines to Syria, and false step-over lines to Russia have all rendered the currency of U.S. admonitions worthless. If Obama were now to lay down a red line for ISIS should it come close to entering Baghdad, would anyone take that threat seriously?" . . .

Former DIA Chief Flynn Says Obama's Terrorism Strategy 'Is Not Working'   . . . "While Obama has claimed “we’re on track” with fighting ISIS, Flynn says here, “we’re not on track.”

“ 'His strategy is not working,” as he decries senior government officials who out of fear or self-interest, refuse to tell the president the facts.

"Asked to connect the dots on releasing GITMO prisoners, Bowe Bergdahl and others, Flynn says, “Obama has made incredibly poor decisions that have made us less safe.' ”

Democrat government: America's Can't-Do State: California's Man-Made Drought Continues

This is not the Democrat Party of FDR and Harry Truman.

Investors Business Daily

The Carlsbad, Calif., desalination plant, America's largest, took 18 years to complete but just three years to build.

. . . "But California has become a can't-do state.

"The Carlsbad desalination plant was proposed in 1998 and took almost 18 years to build. But only three of those years were actually spent building. The rest were wasted on politics and the usual Golden State regulatory and bureaucratic tangle. One of the plant's investors told a California writer that the duplicative state approval process alone delayed the project by at least a decade and added about 10% to total costs.

" 'It took longer to get approvals for this one desalination plant than it did to design, approve and complete most of the 60-year-old State Water Project — California's enormous system of dams, aqueducts and pumping stations that brings northern California water to the more arid Southland," writes Steven Greenhut, a San Diego Union-Tribune columnist and a contributor to Watchdog.org.

"The delays — primarily engineered by environmentalists — were so lengthy and difficult to overcome that the future of desalination plants in California, beginning its fourth year of drought, is grim." . . .

Drive the length of the Oregon coast on 101 and you will see many beautiful bridges, nearly all built under the administration of Democrat President Roosevelt. This is no longer the Democrat party of Will Rogers and my ancestors. TD

Trump is right: Bill Clinton’s sordid sexual history is fair game

Donald Trump 2008: Clinton Sex Scandal ‘Totally Unimportant’
True enough, but Hillary is taking her stand as being the protector of women, the voice of abused women who she says are not being heard.
Sort of like if Mr. Trump claimed he was being the advocate of faithfulness and commitment in marriage.  TD

http://patriotretort.com/fair-game/

"Well, Bill Clinton has a penchant for something. He had a successful presidency — with an ugly blot. “Sexism” isn’t the precise word for his predatory behavior toward women or his inexcusable relationship with a 22-year-old intern. Yet in the larger scheme of things, Bill Clinton’s conduct toward women is far worse than any of the offensive things that Trump has said." . . .

WaPo   . . . "“I think he has to answer for what he says, and I assume that others will make the larger point about his language,” Clinton told t he Des Moines Register. “It’s not the first time he’s demonstrated a penchant for sexism.”

"True, but Clinton’s attempt at outsourced outrage has the air of a basketball player flopping on the floor for the benefit of the ref. Nothing would make the Clinton campaign happier than some good old-fashioned male chauvinist piggery directed her way — all the better to rile up female voters who seem surprisingly nonchalant about the prospect of electing the first female president."

"We’ve seen this playbook before. During her first Senate race in 2000, when Clinton’s Republican opponent, Rick Lazio, invaded her personal space in a debate. During the 2008 presidential campaign, when Clinton surrogates complained that male opponents were “piling on” the then-front-runner, and the campaign posted a video on its website called “The Politics of Pile On.' ”