"The holidays are a super-busy time of year, and it’s too easy, with all the hustle and bustle, to forget about what this season is really all about. So we will remind you: It’s about purchasing high-tech consumer devices at retail.
"This is a tradition that dates back to the Nativity, as we can see in this dialogue among the Three Kings, taken verbatim from the Bible:
"FIRST KING: OK, we just have to follow that star, and it will guide us.
"SECOND KING: Really? That seems kind of vague.
"THIRD KING: Why don’t I get directions from this new technological device I bought at retail?
"THIRD KING: It’s a primitive GPS, powered by olive oil.
"SECOND KING: What does “GPS” stand for?
"THIRD KING: I have no idea. But it has turn-by-turn directions!
"Listen."
"GPS: Turn left at the Sphinx.
"FIRST KING: The Sphinx?
"SECOND KING: Apparently it thinks we’re in Egypt.
"FIRST KING: OK, like I said, we follow the star.
"THIRD KING: I’m glad I bought the service agreement.
NIGHT GLOW TOILET SEAT ... "And then you notice that both the toilet and bathtub are missing. And then you realize you’re actually in a closet.
BLACK TOILET PAPER Why would you give somebody black toilet paper? To answer that question, let’s quote the Amazon Product Description: “Black toilet paper will make a statement in any bathroom.”
OSTRICH PILLOW This is the perfect gift for the busy executive or airline pilot on your holiday gift list who needs to “get away from it all” by power-napping for brief periods, although preferably not during takeoff or landing.
Much more at the link...
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