At least the Babylon Bee found opportunity for humor in the NY mayor's election

New York’s Elderly Jews Torn Between Man Who Would Kill Them For Being Jewish And Man Who Would Kill Them For Being Elderly

"NEW YORK CITY, NY — The elderly Jewish community is reportedly at a crossroads this Election Day, torn between a man who would kill them for being Jewish and a man who would kill them for being elderly.

" 'Mamdani wants me dead for being Jewish," said Estelle Goldberg, a rabbi's wife. "But Cuomo would shove me in a nursing home infected with COVID and refuse to admit me to the hospital."  

"It's a tough choice." . . .

Zohran Mamdani Horrified To Discover He Now Has A Job  

"NEW YORK, NY — In the wake of his overwhelming election win that signalled a dramatic political shift in the United States, New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani was reportedly horrified to wake up this morning and discover that he now had a job.

The Ugandan-born socialist won a landslide victory on Tuesday over former Governor Andrew Cuomo, Republican Curtis Sliwa, and common sense, only to come to the stunning realization that he would now have to work.

"I didn't think this through," Mamdani reportedly told one of his aides. "I was all excited about the campaign and wanted to win, but I got so caught up in the competition that I didn't stop to think that I would end up, you know, having a job. This is terrible."

Promising handouts and government-provided living necessities built a tremendous following for Mamdani, though he now found himself in the unenviable position of not being able to just sit at home and do nothing like his supporters. "I didn't know I would have to like… do stuff," . . .