Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States (Satire or CNN?)

New Yorker

"This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn't end well," she said.

"LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.

"Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”

" 'This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn't end well," she said.

"The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”

"Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “ 'Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”

"Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person "very occasionally.' "

Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Hat tip to Rick McGinty at Mark Levin's Fan Club of Intelligent, Thinking Women (and Men)

The Constant Spin Zone/ How one publication reported Trump’s trip to see troops in Iraq.

For openers, Melania's boots were scorned. Too bad they weren't worn by Michelle Obama.

Ruthfully Yours  Original post here.  "President Trump and his wife Melania made a surprise visit to American soldiers in Iraq on Wednesday, and you would think that would be a straightforward event to write up. Report how and when he arrived, whom he visited, and what he and some of the soldiers said. These holiday trips have become a ritual for all Presidents, and the troops appreciate the Commander in Chief’s display of support.

'Yet here are the first two paragraphs of the news dispatch on the Trump visit that the Washington Post published on its website Wednesday afternoon, Washington time:

“ 'President Trump touched down Wednesday in Iraq in his first visit to a conflict zone as commander in chief, a week after announcing a victory over the Islamic State that his own Pentagon and State Department days earlier said remained incomplete.

“ 'The president’s visit to Al Asad Air Base west of Baghdad, which was shrouded in secrecy, follows months of public pressure for him to spend time with troops deployed to conflicts in the Middle East and punctuates the biggest week of turmoil the Pentagon has faced during his presidency.”

"We’ll admit we stopped reading there, so perhaps there was actual news later in the story. But can anyone reading those opening two sentences wonder why millions of Americans believe Donald Trump when he tells them that he can’t get a fair shake from the press?

"These reporters can’t even begin a news account of a presidential visit to a military base without working in a compilation of Mr. Trump’s controversies, contradictions, and failings.

"The point isn’t to feel sorry for Mr. Trump, whose rhetorical attacks on the press have often been contemptible. The point is that such gratuitously negative reporting undermines the credibility of the press without Mr. Trump having to say a word."

‘Deeper kind of hatred’: Geraldo Rivera pulls ZERO punches when calling CNN out for attacking troops over MAGA swag

CNN: Certainly Not News

Hoax and Change  "Geraldo Rivera seems to have taken issue with the way in which CNN is covering the troops asking Trump and Melania to sign some MAGA swag.

"And we can hardly blame him.

"He gets it … CNN is reporting like they have a personal grudge here, not like it’s a real story.

Rules are rules but my friends at #CNN & co. whining about GI’s-in contravention of some obscure regulation-asking @realDonaldTrump & @FLOTUS to sign their #maga hats seems particularly petty. It has a slimy coating that indicates deeper hatred.

— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) December 28, 2018

" ‘It has a slimy coating that indicates a deeper hatred.’

"Nailed it.

"Imagine being so thin-skinned and petty that you’d dedicate an entire news cycle to hoping troops serving overseas at CHRISTMAS are disciplined for asking the president and first lady to sign MAGA hats.

"It’s ridiculous.

"It’s embarrassing.

"It’s CNN.

Of course it's petty. It's CNN.

— Agatha Gregson (@gregson_agatha) December 28, 2018 

Can’t tell you the last time I watched @CNN #certainlynotnews

— karalot73 (@karalot73) December 28, 2018

"Certainly not news.

"Awesome.

Good call, despite the CNN hatred of the all things Trump, you spoke a fair point. Clear as day CNN is done as a news organization. Now just a Democrat platform for all things negative towards republican leadership. It’s a sad organization now

— Gregg williams (@gw92008) December 28, 2018  . . .

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit’s Un-kosher Exploitation of Politically-charged Headlines

American Thinker   "NBC’s Law and Order: Special Victims Unit wasted no time this TV season in spinning a yarn (November 8, 2018) that exploited the headlines about a candidate for the Supreme Court being accused of committing rape during high school days. And for some reason, writers Richard Sweren and Ryan Causey wanted to give their sordid tale a “Jewish” angle.

. . . 

"I suppose that one could argue that this episode was “inspired” not only by headlines about alleged high school cruelties of a future Catholic officer of the court, but also by headlines about Jewish media moguls and anchors who abused their power by exploiting actresses and other female employees. And the writers certainly have the prerogative to choose characters of any ethnic or religious background (in this case, Jewish) to be the bad apple or the bad influence. Still, I can’t help thinking that this exploitation of headlines, on both counts, was, in the end, all for the sake of having a one-liner with the word, “kosher” in it." . . .

We still watch reruns of "Law & Order", but I avoid seeing anything later than 2000. There are so many instances where they attack any positions not left-wing. One case in point was the reason for this post in the Tunnel Wall. TD

"Law & Order": another TV show that sucker-punches half the American population

"We began watching a 2009 episode of "Law and Order" titled "Fed" last night and I had to shut it off at the start. We saw people like ourselves - TEA par-tiers, portrayed as rifle-toting, hateful bigots. Only Hollywood is capable of inspiring dislike and outrage by the simple means of the skillful acting of those who portray people like you and me as despicable and violent. They give us the same treatment they give to pharmaceutical  and insurance companies.

I just surfed past "Law and Order, SVU" last evening and heard only the words "conservative bigot" spoken by Richard Belzer in the role of Munch. So I searched the words "conservative bigot law and order". Links included here are some of what came up.
"Law [and] Order: Conservative Victims Unit  "This isn't the first time Law [and] Order writers have fantasized about murdering outspoken conservatives.  Last October, The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck was left shaken when an episode of Law [and] Order: SVU featured a character that was raped twice and then murdered by a serial killer.  The victim's name was Elizabeth Hassenbeck."

"Rush Limbaugh Called a Drug Addict in NBC's New Legal Drama 'Harry's Law' "As the show's star Kathy Bates argued for the legalization of drugs while her client was being cross-examined by a totally hapless district attorney, she claimed the idea was first raised by Republicans, "When the party had thinkers, before it was hijacked by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, a drug addict himself" "

Ann Coulter, NBC’s fun idea of a rape victim
"One of NBC’s latest “Law & Order: SVU” episodes showed a horric rape scene of a conservative pundit who coincidentally happened to look like Ann Coulter, who coincidentally happened to talk about “liberal snowakes” in a speech, who coincidentally happened to talk about deporting so-called “Dreamers.”

"Brit Hume delivers devastating slap-down to Trump-hating lefty Soledad O’Brien"

Thomas Lifson  "It is now an established practice in roughly 90% of the American media that anything that President Trump does is wrong, and usually an outrage. Thus, when he and Melania flew to Iraq and Germany for a post-Christmas visit to the troops deployed there, it had to be bad, a transparently craven reaction to criticisms that had started appearing in lefty media that he had not yet visited troops in a war zone – as all his recent predecessors had done -- as his first term in office neared its halfway point.

"Brit Hume, the senior commentator at Fox News, and a man who has seen it all in the DC swamp over the last several decades, was not an early Trump supporter, but over the last couple of years, seems to have had his fill of TDS-addled media figures hyperventilating about everything Trump does.

"Soledad O’Brien has not been around the media as long as Brit Hume, but her background includes stints at a number of the major Trump-hating broadcast outlets, including MSNBC, CNN (where she anchored the morning show Starting Point) and HBO. Now she runs a

company called Starfish Media Group, whose website describes its role as writing material for corporate and nonprofit clients to make them look good (my paraphrasing of this):

. . . Our clients rely on our journalism and storytelling to amplify their brand messages, and together, we create memorable campaigns.

 "[Cough!] If it is written at the behest of the subject who is paying you, it ain't properly called "journalism." The charitable term is "PR" and less charitable ones include "propaganda" and "flackery" among others. " . . .

Here is part of the Hume-O'Brien exchange from Don Surber:

O'Brien reverted to her CNN culture with this response to Hume:

"Sorry—let me spell it out more slowly so you can understand me: the President (according to cnn’s Barabar Starr*) prepped for this trip several weeks ago," O'Brien retorted in a tweet liked 860 times as of Thursday morning.
"The shaming seems to have worked," she added. "I hope you’re having a nice holiday. Try not to be such an a**hole in 2019."

* Barbara Starr (Misspelled by O'Brien)

Sharyl Attkisson: 63 Media Mistakes in the Trump Era: The Definitive List

www.terrellaftermath.com/

Sharyl Attkisson  Ms. Attkisson has quite a list and the post here is, as you can see, the latest in a long compilation by her and relates to the Rich Terrell Aftermath illustration above.

63. Dec. 26, 2018

NBC reported that Trump was the first President since 2002 not to visit the troops at Christmastime. But he (and First Lady Melania) did. NBC added a note to its story but left the false headline in place.

• 

• 

• 

"Politicians are often fact-challenged. But for us in the media— our whole business is in facts. And we’ve played too fast and loose with our own." . . .

These Five Democrats sponsored HR7332 to prevent taxpayer funds from being used to build the border wall

Two are from California.

Their oath of office : “I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.”

Check out the nice, friendly name: H.R. 7332: Protect American Taxpayers and Secure Border Act  Some of the bill's content is here:

This Act may be cited as the Protect American Taxpayers and Secure Border Act.
2.Prohibitions and requirements relating to border security
(a)

In general

No taxpayer funds may be obligated or expended to build a wall or barrier intended to impede travel between Mexico and the United States.
(b)

Foreign payment required

Any wall or barrier described in subsection (a) that is proposed to be built shall be paid for using funds provided by the Government of Mexico.
(c)

Securing the southern border

The Secretary of Homeland Security shall take such actions as may be necessary to secure the southern border by making maximum effective utilization of technology and improved training of U.S. Custom and Border Protection agents and officers.
(d)

Increase in immigration judges

The Attorney General may appoint 100 additional immigration judges in addition to immigration judges currently serving as of the date of the enactment of this Act.
(e)

Humanitarian assistance

The Secretary of Homeland Security shall take such actions as may be necessary to ensure that humanitarian assistance is provided to immigrants, refugees, and other displaced persons who are in need of medical assistance and aid to sustain health and life.

It is time to consider Antifa a terrorist group.

Antifa Thugs Mace, Attack And Rob Marines In Brutal Assault

The Federalist Papers  "A Philadelphia based back of Antifa terrorist attacked Marine reservists and called them Nazis and they did it in the most cowardly way possible.

"Knowing there was no way they could take on Marine reservists in a fair fight they maced them first and then attacked, Philadelphia Magazine reported.

"And now the suspected ring leader is in custody.

"Investigators say that a group of men and women maced, punched, kicked, and robbed the reservists near Front and Chestnut streets on Saturday, November 17th, around 3:20 p.m., just down the street from the controversial “We the People” rally. The group allegedly called the reservists “Nazis” and “white supremacists.”
"According to police, [Tom] Keenan, a 33-year-old Mount Airy resident, turned himself last week.
"He has been charged with two counts each of criminal conspiracy, aggravated assault, terroristic threats, simple assault, and reckless endangerment. Keenan, who was not charged with robbery, was released on bail and is scheduled for a preliminary hearing on December 6th." . . .

Philly Antifa Activist Tom Keenan Charged in Assault on Marines Police video
"In 2007, Keenan was arrested as one of the so-called “Love Park 4” after an incident involving a purported Ku Klux Klan rally in the well-known park near City Hall. He was charged with criminal conspiracy, institutional vandalism, resisting arrest, and criminal mischief, among other offenses, and eventually made a plea deal, pleading guilty to one summary offense of disorderly conduct, while all other charges were withdrawn." . . .
Read more

How much sillier can Democrats become? Dem Senators To Judicial Appointee: Why Did You Join The Extremist … Knights Of Columbus?

May Heaven help America if the American public elects people like this to govern our country!

Hot Air

"Oh, and just for the record: I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Knights of Columbus. I dig the uniforms, though. All kidding aside, they’re a great group of men who do really good work in our communities. They deserve a lot better treatment than this. Hirono and Harris should be ashamed of themselves."

. . . Senators Mazie Hirono (D-HI) and Kamala Harris (D-CA) raised concerns about membership in the Knights of Columbus while the Senate Judiciary Committee reviewed the candidacy of Brian C. Buescher, an Omaha-based lawyer nominated by President Trump to sit on the United States District Court for the District of Nebraska.Senators also asked whether belonging to the Catholic charitable organization could prevent judges from hearing cases “fairly and impartially.”In written questions sent to Buescher by committee members Dec. 5, Sen. Hirono stated that “the Knights of Columbus has taken a number of extreme positions. For example, it was reportedly one of the top contributors to California’s Proposition 8 campaign to ban same-sex marriage.”Hirono then asked Buescher if he would quit the group if he was confirmed “to avoid any appearance of bias.”

. . . "The Knights of Columbus are about as extremist as your average Rotary Club, as Paul Mirengoff noted last night. It’s a community service organization within the Catholic laity, whose forays into politics are in support of traditional Catholic teachings. Its individual members are probably likely to be regular Mass participants and more engaged in living those teachings as well. That, of course, is the point of social organizations in a church."

. . . "Ramesh Ponnuru sniffs out the scent of Know-Nothing anti-Catholicism, and a broader hostility to Christianity in general, in the letter from Hirono and Harris:" . . .

Captain KIRK Meets Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters

Happy Kwanzaa! The Holiday Brought to You by the FBI

Published previously in 2016, edited here for 2018.

Ann Coulter

It's as if David Duke invented a holiday called "Anglika, " which he based on the philosophy of "Mein Kampf" -- and clueless public school teachers began celebrating the made-up, racist holiday. 

Amazon

. . . "Kwanzaa, celebrated exclusively by white liberals, is a fake holiday invented in 1966 by black radical/FBI stooge Ron Karenga -- aka Dr. Maulana Karenga, founder of United Slaves, the violent nationalist rival to the Black Panthers. Liberals have become so mesmerized by multicultural gibberish that they have forgotten the real history of Kwanzaa and Karenga's United Slaves. 

"In what was ultimately a foolish gambit, during the madness of the '60s, the FBI encouraged the most extreme black nationalist organizations in order to discredit and split the left. The more preposterous the group, the better. (It's the same function MSNBC and CNN serve today.)

"By that criterion, Karenga's United Slaves was perfect.

"Despite modern perceptions that blend all the black activists of the '60s, the Black Panthers did not hate whites. Although some of their most high-profile leaders were drug dealers and murderers, they did not seek armed revolution.

"Those were the precepts of Karenga's United Slaves. The United Slaves were proto-fascists, walking around in dashikis, gunning down Black Panthers and adopting invented "African" names. (I will not be shooting any Black Panthers this week because I am Kwanzaa-reform, and we are not that observant.) " . . .

 "Kwanzaa was the result of a '60s psychosis grafted onto the black community by the founder of a murderous black nationalist cult with the FBI's seal of approval. 
. . .  
"Sing to "Jingle Bells": 

Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell
Whitey has to pay;
Burning, shooting, oh what fun
On this made-up holiday! 

"Only white liberals take Kwanzaa seriously. American Blacks celebrate Christmas. "

"Merry Christmas, fellow Christians! "

The Mueller Investigation Is Stirring Up More Trouble Than It’s Finding

Victor Davis Hanson

"Suspicion of collusion was the reason that Mueller was appointed in the first place.   "Add it all up, and we have reached the point where the Mueller team may be constructing more crimes than it is finding."

 "After 19 months, special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation has charged a number of targets with almost every conceivable sin — except collusion with Russia to throw an election. Yet suspicion of collusion was the reason that Mueller was appointed in the first place.
"President Trump’s former consigliere, Michael Cohen, pleaded guilty to lying to Congress. But as part of his plea deal, Cohen also confessed to a superfluous charge of a campaign-finance violation.
"Cohen allegedly negotiated a nondisclosure agreement concerning a supposed past Trump liaison with porn star Stormy Daniels. Yet no one alleges that Trump used cash from his 2016 campaign account to buy Daniels’ silence.
"Instead, the accusation is that Cohen and Trump used Trump’s own money, but they did not report the payout as a “contribution” to his campaign. But Trump likely would have paid off Daniels anyway to protect his marriage, family, and reputation, regardless of whether he was running for office.
"If you take media-sensationalized sex out of the equation, Trump, like any other American, has the right to pay anyone whatever he wishes to keep quiet about past embarrassing behavior, whether that be secretly gulping down too many Big Macs or cheating on the golf course." . . .