Dave Barry’s Year in Review: Wait, wasn’t 2021 supposed to be better than 2020?

 . . .distinguished rapper/epidemiologist Nicki Minaj issues a tweet stating that her cousin in Trinidad had a friend who got vaccinated and became impotent and his man fruits swelled up and his fiancée canceled their wedding. . . 

Washington Post

DAVE BARRY, Miami Herald  "Is there anything positive we can say about 2021?

"Yes. We can say that it was marginally better than 2020.

"Granted, this is not high praise. It’s like saying that somebody is marginally nicer than Hitler. But it’s something.

"What was better about 2021? For one thing, people finally emerged from their isolated pandemic cocoons and started connecting with others. Granted, the vast majority of the people who connected with us this year wanted to discuss our car’s extended warranty. But still.

"Another improvement was that most stores got rid of those one-way anti-COVID arrows on the floor. Remember those, from 2020? You’d be halfway down a supermarket aisle, and you’d realize that you’d gone past the Cheez-Its, but you couldn’t turn around and go back because you’d be going AGAINST THE ARROWS, which meant YOU WOULD GET COVID.

"Ha ha! Was that stupid, or what? Fortunately in 2021, we followed the Science, which decided that the coronavirus does not observe floor arrows. On the other hand, the Science could not make up its mind about masks, especially in restaurants. Should everybody in the restaurant wear them? Should only the staff wear them? Should people who are standing up wear them, but not people who are sitting down, which would seem to suggest that the virus can also enter our bodies via our butts? We still don’t know, and we can’t wait to find out what the Science will come up with for us next.

"Anyway, our point is not that 2021 was massively better than 2020. Our point is that at least it was different. A variant, so to speak. And like any year, it had both highs and lows.

"No, we take that back. It was pretty much all lows, as we will see when we review the key events of 2021, starting in..." Full article here, beginning with January 2021