Biden Begins Speech By Thanking Iran President Ebrahim Raisi For Coming (Parody)

Iranian Government Claims People Dancing In Streets Is Part Of The Mourning Process | Babylon Bee  "According to official sources in the Iranian government, the masses of Iranian citizens singing, dancing, and setting off firecrackers in the streets during the five-day public grieving period following the death of former President Ebrahim Raisi are "going through part of the mourning process."

"As you can see, the people of Iran are mourning just as hard as they can," spokesperson Fariborz Tehrani shouted over the deafening tones of fireworks and cymbals. "This is just their way of showing how much they loved our Exalted Leader while he was alive. The numerous helicopter-shaped balloons and confetti are merely a part of the traditional Iranian mourning process and definitely not a sign of joy or exuberance at the death of the so-called Butcher of Tehran." . . .

Iranian President Asks Manager Of Paradise Where All The Virgins Are And If It'd Be Possible To Turn The Heat Down A Tad | Babylon Bee  . . ."I never did a single thing wrong in my life! I mean, I did help orchestrate the slaughter of 1,200 Jews on October 7th but surely that would please Allah! Why is Paradise so hot and where is all the stuff I've been promised? At this point, I'd settle for 71 virgins…"

Biden Begins Speech By Thanking Iran President Ebrahim Raisi For Coming | Babylon Bee   . . ."Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre fielded press questions about the incident. "The president had the former president of Iran on his mind because of the recent news. It's totally normal and not at all suspicious that he would suddenly think he was in the room with him," Jean-Pierre said. "Everything is fine."

" 'Reporters asked her to clarify the matter. "Isn't there a difference between accidentally saying someone's name and actively thinking they're in the room with you?"

" 'This is outrageous and uncalled for," Jean-Pierre argued. "This President is working hard every day for the American people and I'm a black lesbian. Does that mean nothing to you ingrates?". . .