Dave Barry: The Year in Review

 Substack

. . . " Technically Greenland belongs to Denmark, which doesn’t want to sell it to us, but the harsh military reality is that the entire Danish army has fewer weapons than the entourage of a mid-tier American rap artist."

. . . "In other Washington news, the hearings for Trump’s cabinet nominees produce the greatest oratorical moment in the history of the U.S. Senate, if not the world, when Bernie Sanders, questioning Robert F. Kennedy Jr., points to photographs of two infant garments with anti-vaccination slogans and demands to know “ARE YOU SUPPORTIVE OF THESE ONESIES?”

[During Trump's SOTU], "This message does not go unchallenged by the Democratic members of Congress, who, in a bold display of Resistance reminiscent of the civil-rights marches of the Sixties, take courageous high-impact action in the form of...Holding up little paddles." . . .

In June Trump launched the mission to end Iran's nuclear program: . . . "The bombing mission is called “Operation Midnight Hammer,” a name that was chosen over these candidates:

-- “Operation Big Stomping Boot of Consequences.”

-- “Operation FAFO.”

-- “Operation You Talkin’ To ME?”

-- “Operation We Have Come To Chew Bubblegum And Destroy Your Nuclear Facilities, And We Are All Out Of Bubblegum.”

-- “Operation Enrich THIS, Motherf****rs.”

In August: "But by far the biggest story in August, if not of all time, is that OMG OMG OMG Taylor Swift announces her engagement to the Future Mr. Taylor Swift, who presents her with an engagement ring believed to be the first piece of manmade jewelry visible from space."

Only a sampling; much, much more Barry here.  A serious mention is made about the murder of Charlie Kirk by Barry, but we will leave comments on that to numerous other posts, letting Dave Barry be Dave Barry. The Tunnel Dweller.