The Thunbergians: our world's fastest growing sect

The Fate of Secular Saint Greta Thunberg  "After seeing the cover for Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” award, who can still pretend the Left is irreligious?  It is clear Time has officially sainted Thunberg.  After all, the magazine proclaims, “By clarifying an abstract danger with piercing outrage, Thunberg became the most compelling voice on the most important issue facing the planet.”

"Thunberg -- for now at least -- has become the secular equivalent of Joan of Arc, whose portraits and statues are depicted with a similar expression denoting transcendent holiness. 

"One suspects that in a very short time, St. Greta will invite St. Joan's fate. No, she won't suffer a literal execution, but she will be "executed" nonetheless; and by the same crowd that currently is elevating her to sainthood." . . .

. . . "Eventually, the now maniacally devoted followers who presently adore her will become diverted by other Pied Pipers and begin to wander away, leaving her alone with only her abstractions for company." . . .

Inspired by the above news,The Babylon Bee, now rated above CNN as "the most trusted name in news", files these critical reports:
Thunberg urges climate action because 'people are dying'

Poll Finds Most People Would Rather Be Annihilated By Giant Tidal Wave Than Continue To Be Lectured By Climate Change Activists
. . . "Fires, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes, and bees also polled higher than the activists."
Nation Surprised To Learn Time Magazine Still In Print

Greta Thunberg Mural Equipped With Laser Eyes That Shoot At SUVs

New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing Gasoline

A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.

Powerful: Loggers Carved 'How Dare You' Into The Forest While Cutting Down Trees For Time Magazine's Person Of The Year Issue

. . . "Unfortunately, they cut down way more trees than needed for Time's waning readership. But it was worth it to send this powerful message to the patriarchy, white supremacists, Donald Trump, and capitalists. Oh, yeah, and to communicate the climate change thing." . . .